I have 11 stories published in
0 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 7273 times
and 19 of my stories have been cherry picked. 324 of my 3,340 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 329 votes
324 of my comments have received 329 Great Feedback votes
1 Vote
Cut 'can one agree' perhaps.
Posted on Mon, 07 Mar 2016
Cut 'can one agree' perhaps. Substitute with something else. The question doesn't have the same welly.
What a tempo this has, all the sibilance and alliteration, the fast paced punch of a mother's sick mind. Most moving. Would like to hear this, it is far-reaching and word placement is immaculate. Are you up for one edit suggestion? If unwanted,...
This is so sharp. I really like it. The contrast of IT and field mouse is well drawn, the power of nature and literary word too. You touch on the the three blind mice nursery rhyme, and perception beyond visual sight, extended with wit and pizazz...
This is really beautiful. Two things: One, you captured the person inside the anonymous and stereotypically perceived homeless guy, one, you've used a pen portrait in unusual colours to restore social hope. It's a very strong piece of work in my...
In Nottingham there used to be a street busker, a guy. He played the xylophone. He reminded me of a spider monkey. This raised memories of him somehow. Some soft language here that conveys not only a moment but sounds of nostalgia,
Cut 'can one agree' perhaps.
Posted on Mon, 07 Mar 2016
Cut 'can one agree' perhaps. Substitute with something else. The question doesn't have the same welly.
Read full commentPosted in One (Inspiration Point)
What a rant. This is fire in
Posted on Mon, 07 Mar 2016
What a rant. This is fire in the belly stuff. Such a satisfying read, your use of rhetorical statements layers up persuasion.
Read full commentPosted in One (Inspiration Point)
What a tempo this has, all
Posted on Fri, 04 Mar 2016
What a tempo this has, all the sibilance and alliteration, the fast paced punch of a mother's sick mind. Most moving. Would like to hear this, it is far-reaching and word placement is immaculate. Are you up for one edit suggestion? If unwanted,...
Read full commentPosted in Nuthoused
Very affecting. Colloquial
Posted on Wed, 02 Mar 2016
Very affecting. Colloquial tone is effective, child-like lens too.
Read full commentPosted in Too Cold for Snow...
This is so sharp. I really
Posted on Thu, 25 Feb 2016
This is so sharp. I really like it. The contrast of IT and field mouse is well drawn, the power of nature and literary word too. You touch on the the three blind mice nursery rhyme, and perception beyond visual sight, extended with wit and pizazz...
Read full commentPosted in Mouse.poem
This is really beautiful. Two
Posted on Thu, 25 Feb 2016
This is really beautiful. Two things: One, you captured the person inside the anonymous and stereotypically perceived homeless guy, one, you've used a pen portrait in unusual colours to restore social hope. It's a very strong piece of work in my...
Read full commentPosted in Painting the Homeless Godly
A celebratory sort of regret.
Posted on Thu, 18 Feb 2016
A celebratory sort of regret. So well paced and minutiae of your original details gives it potency.
Read full commentPosted in Anniversary
Some lush detail here. Felt
Posted on Tue, 16 Feb 2016
Some lush detail here. Felt slightly confused if it was by a river or a sci fi scene, the perspectives seem to shift.
Read full commentPosted in Travel Talks
In Nottingham there used to
Posted on Tue, 16 Feb 2016
In Nottingham there used to be a street busker, a guy. He played the xylophone. He reminded me of a spider monkey. This raised memories of him somehow. Some soft language here that conveys not only a moment but sounds of nostalgia,
Read full commentPosted in The Lady that Played Piano
Just come to this one, Airy.
Posted on Sun, 14 Feb 2016
Just come to this one, Airy. Richly detailed, significant things brought to the forefront with confident storytelling. A clear voice.
Read full commentPosted in The Net Caster (Part Four)
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