VeraClark

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My stories have been read times 318 of my 3,308 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 323 votes

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318 of my comments have received 323 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

The format makes this quite

Posted on Wed, 20 Apr 2016

The format makes this quite hard to read. Had to squint. It's a haunting piece, can feel the darkness.

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Posted in WW1 ghosts

1 Vote

'the same routine I have for

Posted on Wed, 13 Apr 2016

'the same routine I have for a year now' - omit 'been' 

I haven't read Ch 1 yet but why is Noah in prison? He feels a little too tender and caring, need to know why he is inside and how does he cope if such a softie? 

You could...

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Posted in The Come Up:Alex Brown, Chapter 2

1 Vote

A Parisian departure.

Posted on Tue, 12 Apr 2016

A Parisian departure. Particularly like how you collide two worlds, two eras together and a relection which paints all the colours of a mother.

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Posted in 'Evening in Paris' (Poetry Monthly)

1 Vote

You gave him life, a woman

Posted on Wed, 06 Apr 2016

You gave him life, a woman deserves a rest after agony.Such complexity. I remember the dawning after my first child that the responsibility was permenant. OMFG!!! :-) A really brave piece and stronger for its candidness

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Posted in Breech of the Piss

1 Vote

This is charming, rhyme runs

Posted on Mon, 04 Apr 2016

This is charming, rhyme runs well. Did feel that the second lines in first three stanzas might have been chosen because they fit the rhyme and could be developed to extend the metaphor some more.

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Posted in To House A Home

1 Vote

Through to the bone, the

Posted on Fri, 01 Apr 2016

Through to the bone, the heart. So well conveyed, Bee.

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Posted in Phantommams

1 Vote

The mirroring of each natural

Posted on Wed, 30 Mar 2016

The mirroring of each natural act illuminates biology and does a tremendous job of overwhelming your reader's emotions through vivid, dramatic imagery that is full of sensitivity. Gorgeous.

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Posted in First Breath:Last Breath

1 Vote

There is something gothic and

Posted on Tue, 29 Mar 2016

There is something gothic and macabre growing bigger here as you read, the merge of frozen nature and frozen child (perhaps child, I dont know) You create a stark tableau.Great use of repetition, I think this is beautiful.

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Posted in Chanter - (poetry monthly)

1 Vote

All that suffering's worth it

Posted on Mon, 28 Mar 2016

All that suffering's worth it, you can feel the chemistry. Some razor lines, a touch of wit, a rabbit and a threat.

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Posted in Her eyes became the future

1 Vote

You make a whole new world

Posted on Wed, 23 Mar 2016

You make a whole new world make sense. The detail on childhood is believable and gives just enough sense of coldness and detachment to not to want to ever go back. 

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Posted in The Net Caster (Part Seventeen)

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