All Asimov and no Fresh Air
A new Half Man Half Biscuit album is due out on 13 June. As with previous albums, my plan is to write 13 stories to correspond with the song titles between now and the release date
- Horror Clowns Are Dickheads
- Goodbye Sam, Hello Samaritans
- Rawlplugs Of Yesteryear (Breaking The States)
- The Bliss Of The Hereafter
- McCalliog And His Hens
- Record Store Day
- I'm Going Out Of My Mind Trying To Get Into Yours
- No-One Likes A Polymath
- Don't Get Me Wrong Yvonne
- Birmos In The Cowshed
- Falmouth Electrics
- Jack's Been To The National
- Possible Side Effects
- 451 reads
Rawlplugs Of Yesteryear (Breaking the States)
“This is why you’ll never have professional darts in the States,” he said, holding up a piece of yellow plastic. I was staying with Dave and his...
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- 355 reads
Birmos In The Cowshed
Sheila Heggarty rushed excitedly to her front door, then looked aghast at the two men in front of her. “Oh,” she said. “I was expecting a delivery...
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- 2699 reads
Don’t get me wrong Yvonne
“I’m not an idiot.” Mike said nothing, he was focused on number 47, the mark’s residence. “It’s a mistake anyone could make,” Jay continued. Again...
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- 144 reads
No-One Likes A Polymath
“Ah, Purkis, come in, take a seat.” “You wanted to see me Professor?” “Yes Purkiss, your essay, it was due month ago.” “Sorry professor but I’ve been...
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- 375 reads
Falmouth Electrics
It was a carefully planned robbery. A fake company was set up offshore , Universal Electronics, using fake names and an account with an extremely...
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- 307 reads
The Bliss of the Hereafter
"I am pleased to open this the 415,225th meeting of the Angelic Council. You all know each other by now, I hope so anyway. We'll proceed straight to...
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- 782 reads
Horror Clowns are dickheads
“You can really taste the hops,” said Taras. He held up his glass. “Our new IPA.” Misha sniffed the beer with a deep snort. “Ah, such a smell . These...
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- 258 reads
Goodbye Sam, Hello Samaritans
“They’re resurrecting Dylan Thomas,” Toby said. “Hello, Samaritans,” I said. “Could you stop doing that,” Toby said. “I’m sorry. I’m just nervous, it...
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- 528 reads
Jack’s been to the national
“ And the interesting thing about Just van Rossum’s FF Confidential font ,” the speaker said, “ i s its recent use in a campaign against pira cy. I...
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- 350 reads
McCalliog And His Hens
“ This story’s all about ducks ,” said Barclay. “ That’s right, ” I said . ” That’s my specialty , duck stories. I’m famed for it. ” “ But the title’...
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- 313 reads
I’m going out of my mind trying to get into yours
“You’re not shutting out the thoughts you’re receiving,” the instructor said, “You’re letting the duck's thoughts and feelings influence you. You...
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- 220 reads
Record Store Day
I was woken by a blurry figure shaking me violently. “Take my money,” I said, “Take my money, I won’t cause any trouble.” “You’re nothing but trouble...
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- 175 reads
Possible side effects
Falling in love is a wonderful thing, but be warned, while the initial euphoria can be exhilarating, it's important to be aware of the occasional...
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- 684 reads