Bacon Legs
By ged-backland
Bacon Legs
The M25 is 118 miles long as is Britains only dual purpose motorway, it's dual usage being as a road and as a huge circular car park. Gary Bragg 'King of the Reps' burns victim and orphanage boy chooses the M25 as the place for his victory drive after picking up his ultimate motor a highly powered BMW M5. Two tormentors from his days in care, one now a priest and the other a semi disabled lorry driver are also on the same stretch of road. Two days after Gary Bragg joins the motorway at junction 18 he is found by traffic police babbling incoherently on the hard shoulder. He is missing a foot.
Traffic is everyone's nightmare. This story is Gary Braggs.
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- 2369 reads
bacon legs
And here are your keys Sir - with the all important soft leather M5 fob. He took a step back and held the keys high and out of his customers reach like
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- 2653 reads
Hello Ambulance... I've knocked down Scooby Doo!
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One Day
One day At the going down of the sun And when Tony Blair Is doing a ten thousand dollar tour of the U.S.
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The Day When It All happened
I'm not falling in love I'm falling apart I hate mobiles but I wish you'd call yes no
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Fire watching
Yet it only takes a brown wooden bead To evoke a small hoot of a smile
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New Uncles Every Monday
Run us the shop and get bacon For your new uncle There’s a pound in me handbag You can walk to school Take three penguins for your dinner
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- 866 reads
Sunday Dad
Each of the six hours Crammed with fun Park. Toyshop. Beach But too soon It’s back to the step For giving back For hurt looks And kisses ta ta
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The Girl I Miss The Most
Some days her hair looked like a beautiful October cabbage. She was frightened of snowmen (especially when they were melting)
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She Fell Asleep On The Beano
It started with a belly button ring, which was a miracle, one fit for a group of poor French kids
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- 938 reads
He used to make toast for The Pope
The Docker caught my eye, and with teeth like sugar puffs smiled big – “Toast for the Pope,”
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- 919 reads
M25
Clive was gracious as ever and expressed in a way only a fat abused TGI servant could that he hoped Gary had had a good meal.
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- 888 reads
Don't Jump I'll Miss Celebrity Squares.
A time before the books in brown paper bags and the relentless search on the internet for 'sluts' who were only a bus ride away.
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- 1070 reads
Teeth Like Sugar Puffs - New Version
I am in unfortunate possession of poor oral hygiene as a result of a three year lust for mattels refreshers (those yellow sweets with the sherbert filling) those sticky yellow devils,
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- 3328 reads
Jack sat in the corner of the old peoples home and muttered
We were the law And ships heavy with the world Waited for my nod to be unloaded
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- 817 reads
Never Trust A Zebra When It's Drunk
I don’t know whether it was the Elephants doing the Twist or the two Rhinos shagging by the buffet that kicked it all off.
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- 1524 reads
That's How I Ended Up Killing Noel Edmonds
I found it difficult enough to talk on the phone as it is, never mind ringing ‘Old Nick’ up for a pointed chinwag.
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- 1590 reads
gone gone (edited girl I miss the most)
Some days her hair looked like a beautiful October cabbage. She was frightened of snowmen (especially when they were melting)
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- 956 reads
Manky Panky
Chin-caked with chip fat and sick And heart jam-packed with sin
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- 1 comment
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- 1238 reads
Thanks Barry
Her name was Lola And she wasn’t a showgirl She worked in credit control In city electrical factors
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- 2 comments
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- 960 reads