Lighter Hearted Poems
Uncharacteristically frivalous stuff (not sure I'm ready for full blown humour yet).
- 589 reads
Dafty Limericks
There was an old man from Peru who had terrible trouble with shoes. It happened, he said, when he wore them to bed and marched in his sleep all night...
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- 306 reads
The Morris Dancing Major
You’d think the major would be enraged to look so strange, doing his sidesteps full of frills. In with the boys and bashing sticks, and no dallying...
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- 401 reads
The Honour Guard
The honour guard are glass eyed on parade, waiting for inspection and the day for which they've trained. Double ranks in waiting for the chief of the...
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- 597 reads
Remains of a Dog Have Been Found
Remains of a dog have been found, in this ground that used to be a fortress. No-one can guess if he was stoned or drowned, or sent to a kennel...
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- 754 reads
Suddenly I Am Santa (A Seasonal Transmogrification Nightmare)
Once it would have been no, no, no, now I horrifyingly affirm ho, ho, ho! Suddenly, I am Santa. Where did it begin? Went to bed arsey and unkind as...
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- 311 reads
Windsock at the Cheese Factory
There is a windsock at the cheese factory to warn when the cheddar cheese breeze is blowing far too hard, to mark our cards about low-flying...
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- 975 reads
The Medieval Wildman Comes to Stay
New technology allows me to extract him from a woodcut and invite him into the house. It is a mistake. His stains will never be erased from the soft...
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- 1010 reads
All Them Monkeys, All Them Bears
All them monkeys, all them bears, O my goodness, how they stare. How they gnash, to what effect, call the doctor, fetch the vet! Please sedate that...
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- 642 reads
The One That Got Away
I never got near enough to know for sure whether she was mermaid or maiden. All I know is that she was alluring beyond all endurance. But how do you...
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- 339 reads
Four Legged Mary
Four legged Mary was kidnapped by fairies, they taught her to dance, but didn’t enhance her, no way. Hairy old Mary was not so much scary as wary and...
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- 178 reads
The Man Who Hated Wasting Paper
I would give him wings made from the crisp red gold of fallen leaves, fold the bark of silver birch into darts that would pierce his stingy heart. I...
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- 400 reads
Doves
The listless birds seem to have escaped from the razzamataz clutches of a hapless stage magician. Now they perch on the railing, slightly stunned,...
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- 254 reads
Poem for the Goalie
Poor Sam Bartram was between the posts in the black and white days. One day he waited too long between the posts when a white out fog came down and...
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- 201 reads
The Sinisterish Milkman
The Sinisterish Milkman (For Halloween) The sinisterish milkman from the world's end dairy has a glint in the eye that makes you wary and clinking...
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- 259 reads
We Never Speak of Rose
We do not speak of Rose, who was deposed from middle management, who went or was made to go, who knows? We will not mention Rose, who was with us for...
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- 80 reads