Insertponceyfrenchnamehere
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I have 17 stories published in
one collection on the site.
My stories have been read 285357 times
and 170 of my stories have been cherry picked.
523 of my 10,534 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 532 votes
A very honest piece. A sense
Posted on Wed, 17 Feb 2016
A very honest piece. A sense of disassociation from the world, lonliness and frustration.
If you'd like feedback I'd suggest you lose the introductory piece in capitals. Perhaps add it at the end (but not in caps - that looks quite shouty...
Read full commentPosted in I awoke today. A Physical Sense Gone, How Did I Get Here?
Awful how words can destory
Posted on Wed, 17 Feb 2016
Awful how words can destory someone isn't it. If it's fiction, it's very convincing
Read full commentPosted in BEST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE?
So pleased to hear you're on
Posted on Wed, 17 Feb 2016
So pleased to hear you're on the offensive now. Enjoy the boogaloo!
Read full commentPosted in The Doctor's First Dozen Words
Hello Tom - there's a real
Posted on Mon, 15 Feb 2016
Hello Tom - there's a real wealth of detail in this piece. For feedback I would suggest that you simplify your language a little. Did you use a thesaurus? Some of the words you've chosen don't have the meaning I think you wanted
Welcome to...
Read full commentPosted in The effluvium by the sea.
now I'm enjoying this! I like
Posted on Thu, 11 Feb 2016
now I'm enjoying this! I like the ambiguity of the relationship between the two men - the way it seems to have more depth than in the previous parts. I think there's more balance in this part too, between action and backstory, although I...
Read full commentPosted in The Net Caster (Part Three)
hahah - Bee they are
Posted on Mon, 08 Feb 2016
hahah - Bee they are brilliant! I think I've come across photos of them while searching for pictures for your Journey series. I do hope you're going to write the knitter a thank you poem and direct her to ABCTales to read it? (and the rest of...
Read full commentPosted in Knitted Knockers
sometimes all the 'we's are a
Posted on Thu, 04 Feb 2016
sometimes all the 'we's are a bit confusing, but mainly this is well written, with humour, dignity and refreshing honesty. Thank you for posting it
Read full commentPosted in We Can't Believe We Have cancer
I enjoyed this thoughtful
Posted on Wed, 03 Feb 2016
I enjoyed this thoughtful piece ice. You might be interested to read Bee's journey - we have it on our front page.
suggestions:
it's 'affect' both times
it should be who, not whom all the times you've used it here
...
Read full commentPosted in Yes, We Have Cancer
Me too! You might want to
Posted on Mon, 01 Feb 2016
Me too! You might want to remove one of the two consequentlys here:
Consequently, a young gentleman was often judged on the size of his folly. Consequently, any young unmarried gentleman who never displayed his ha-ha to his intended was...
Read full commentPosted in A Notorious Historical Dandy
Prologues are definitely not
Posted on Mon, 18 Jan 2016
Prologues are definitely not old hat when they're as good as this one. I'll leave the pork pie and dinner date for someone else but will just highlight the tiny bit of comic genius that made me snigger:
'St Diodatis, patron saint of...
Read full commentPosted in Highly Strung
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