I have 1765 stories published in
28 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 1520430 times and 1070 of my stories have been cherry picked.
182 of my 3,030 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 196 votes
182 of my comments have received 196 Great Feedback votes
Posted on Wed, 06 Jan 2016
nothing wrong with a long sentence, provided it's completely clear and you don't lose the reader on the way. Dickens was pretty good at sentences which sometimes seemed like Latin periods, but he was a dab hand with a semi and full colon. Unlike...Read full comment
Posted in the hungry earth (2 of 2)
Posted on Sun, 05 Oct 2014
...agree there's some nice description.
You need to avoid a tendency to tell. 'He had been able to avoid... etc.'
I'm not sure I believe the internal monologue in the paragraph beginning. 'He looked past the end...' You say the boy...Read full comment
Posted in K Ward - part 1 (Out of Sight)
Posted on Fri, 13 Jun 2014
Hey Jack, great pieces on an interesting day.
Just one thing:
"I offered Ewan a cheese sandwich, but he said his
friend had made him an old-fashioned bacon buttie. They’d been in the
army together. I went to sit on the...
Posted in Unbounders Away