Sooz006

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I have 560 stories published in 10 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 365412 times and 335 of my stories have been cherry picked.
59 of my 3,310 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 61 votes

Sooz006's picture
Sooz006

 

My stories

Cherry

Break The Child: Chapter Thirty-six: Is he here yet?

Chapter Thirty-Six I had a bad night. I woke up three times and was sick. The first two times my dad was with me and he held my hair up and rubbed my...
Cherry

In a World Gone Mad: Thursday 2 July 2020...2

Teagan is a nightmare, Teagan, and Arthur together—well there aren’t enough adjectives in the language to describe what it’s like. I caved and took...
Cherry

In a World gone Mad: 2 July 2020...1

Thursday 2 July 2020 I’m tired—but I am sleeping. The total madness of a few weeks ago has gone. Between getting up to Arthur—which is never going to...
Cherry

In a world Gone Mad: 1 July 2020 ...3

Well, I have my Magic the Gathering cards. Andy has already said that when I die he would like them—yeah not a chance sunshine. You might be a good...
Cherry

In a World gone Mad: 1 July 2020 ... 2

She has a rash and is scratching all the time. She’s going through a furious moult, I’ve never seen a dog loose so much hair. I’ve been asking to get...

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59 of my comments have received 61 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

I mean, how many girls get

Posted on Thu, 01 Jan 2015

I mean, how many girls get whisked around the world on a flying carpet? He literally knew how to sweep a girl off her feet, unfortunately, later on; I had to learn that there is a lot he sweeps under that carpet too. ...lovely use of metaphor....

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Posted in Session 4 - Being Married Perspective

1 Vote

The last line of this brought

Posted on Tue, 23 Sep 2014

The last line of this brought tears to my eyes .. but it's early and I was in the office at six forty five and haven't woken up yet, they wre morning tears, I'm not soft really, honest.

Adfverbs and words and phrases like ,rather, and...

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Posted in Reef 5 - Mayday!

1 Vote

This is the first of these

Posted on Sun, 21 Sep 2014

This is the first of these that I've read... beautiful writing. I loved every word of this.  I'm also writing a dog story, but mine's darker.  I'll be looking out for more of these. 

 

Just one tiny thing, perhaps you could number...

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Posted in Reef 3 - The Boat

1 Vote

TV critics as a masterpiece

Posted on Mon, 03 Mar 2014

TV critics as a masterpiece unlikely ever to be equalled with some rating her show ,,, I'd put a comma after equalled. 

guard of pastry chefs help their serving spoons at half mast...held?

 

Oh, come on Eton Mess witout a...

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Posted in The Golden Spoon Award

1 Vote

Little Ally’s head felt fuzzy

Posted on Sat, 30 Nov 2013

Little Ally’s head felt fuzzy… I’d keep the prefix ‘little’ for dialogue. When the narrator is referring to her as little Ally it gets a bit sickly. It’s like in the soaps when the baby’s always Baby so and so. ‘Who’s having Baby Jack tonight?’...

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Posted in school photos 34

1 Vote

 Ally’s job was to say the

Posted on Thu, 28 Nov 2013

 Ally’s job was to say the Lord’s Prayer as quickly as she could so that the monsters under the beds didn’t reach their bony fingers up, grab her by the ankle and pull her down underneath the floor to the great pit. …..Celt, I swear to you, I did...

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Posted in school photos 33

1 Vote

Odd use of capitalisation. I

Posted on Sun, 02 Mar 2014

Odd use of capitalisation. I'm not sure if this is done intentionally, but I'd be tempted to re-look at it and go for proper usage. 

 

I like the wierd stiltedness of this, it reads a like an old Chinese proverb and that makes it...

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Posted in Man, Woman and Bird

1 Vote

Slowly begins to reflect and

Posted on Sun, 26 Jan 2014

Slowly begins to reflect and refract amid a golden hue;... I think the word begins here, weakens the piece, up to this point it's strong and assertive while being poignant and beautiful, just that one little word made it feel weaker than it had...

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Posted in The Deer.

1 Vote

Of course the other chap had

Posted on Sun, 26 Jan 2014

Of course the other chap had to be vaporised, but you've got to make sacrifices.... cute! I like this. 

 

And whenever he is asked if he has any regrets, he will say, "It's a bit draughty on the moon."...Nice.

 

...

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Posted in It's a Bit Draughty on the Moon

1 Vote

eyes that scream whilehis

Posted on Sat, 25 Jan 2014

eyes that scream whilehis mouth devours... space

 

This is his huge stabbed throne!
Where screaming Saturnus and the shining stars do live. 
This--- he calls his home... I like this, I think it sets the atmosphere for...

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Posted in saturnius

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