Turlough

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I have 208 stories published in 7 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 717330 times and 291 of my stories have been cherry picked.
849 of my 3,103 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 901 votes

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Turlough's picture
Terence Mullan

 

I shaved my head again today. I shave it every couple of months to disguise the fact that I’m going bald.

My stories

Cherry

Black Grape Cat Disorder

Osem our cat is black and white He’ll eat whatever comes in sight He eats all day and he eats all night No bounds exist to his appetite He eats...
Gold cherry

Our Man in Golubac

As sweat ran down my temples the man at the other end of the telephone line told me that he spoke Bulgarian, which came as a massive relief to me...
2 likes
Cherry

Back in the M.A.F.F. - Part Two of Two

My dear colleague, Colin the Contortionist, really was called Colin but he was employed by the M.A.F.F. more as a Scientific Officer than as a...
1 likes
Cherry

Back in the M.A.F.F. - Part One of Two

It was the first time I’d ever been asked the question ‘Are you allergic to silage?’ at a job interview. I couldn’t give a definitive answer because...
Cherry

Miss Australia 1978 – Part Four of Four

Kev sat down on my settee with a beer from my fridge to watch the racing results on my television. Jim in Glasgow had paid for all of these things,...

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849 of my comments have received 901 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

Embarrassing

Posted on Fri, 05 Jul 2024

Priyatelkata is half Algerian. She will haggle over the number of corn flakes in her breakfast bowl.

In market situations I feel half proud and half embarrassed. When I try to haggle she just laughs.

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Posted in My Döner and Chide

1 Vote

Advice for first time Guinness carriers

Posted on Fri, 05 Jul 2024

In five easy steps:

  1. Arrange the pints of Guinness on the bar top in a triangle formation with two near to you and one a bit further away.
  2. Place the thumb and index finger of each hand around the two pints of Guinness nearest
  3. ...
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Posted in My Döner and Chide

1 Vote

I can really do it, I can really move...

Posted on Tue, 09 Jul 2024

Yes! All lovers make
Make the same mistakes
As me and you

 

Bob Dylan, eat your heart out!

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Posted in Juke Box Jive

1 Vote

Wanderer

Posted on Mon, 08 Jul 2024

I'm very sorry to hear about your dyslexia... I wasn't poking fun.

I'm pleased to hear you've wandered a bit. They're all nice countries that you've visited, even if they don't have Maltesers.

But don't stop now. The world's your...

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Posted in Malta. Part Nine.

1 Vote

The other forty

Posted on Mon, 08 Jul 2024

Four times fifteen percent is only sixty percent. I hope the other forty wasn't the best bit.

Most countries in southern and eastern Europe don't have homeless people. It's because accommodation is cheaper than in the west and it's in our...

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Posted in Malta. Part Nine.

1 Vote

Brecon Beacons

Posted on Sat, 06 Jul 2024

That's a beautiful part of the world you were in Rhiannon.

Twelve years ago, when I was living in Wiltshire, I went there with our local walking group. We climbed Fan y Big, Cribyn and Pen y Fan, though it wasn't all climbing. I vaguely...

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Posted in Bannau Brycheiniog**

1 Vote

Greatly appreciated

Posted on Fri, 05 Jul 2024

Thanks very much Jane. Your words are greatly appreciated.

I'm just a bit disappointed in myself for only writing a couple of thousand words after doing more than forty years of research.

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Posted in My Döner and Chide

1 Vote

My place

Posted on Tue, 02 Jul 2024

I only moved to Bulgaria because I'd run out of things to write about the Wiltshire drizzle.

Благодаря ти много Юън.

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Posted in Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

1 Vote

Hawkwind

Posted on Mon, 01 Jul 2024

Hello Jenny.

The garden's tidy now but very bare. A rake, a shovel and a wheelbarrow was all we needed to do the job.

I hope Hawkwind fans won't be disappointed to learn that Priyatelkata's follow up single was Pasta Dutchie From...

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Posted in Holiday on Ice

1 Vote

Yes, ex Prime Minister

Posted on Thu, 27 Jun 2024

Nice one Paul. Your coincidental things would all be funny if they weren't such a scarily accurate description of the awful reality. And Sunak's still got a week to go so there's a strong possibility you'll have enough material for episode...

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Posted in Boris and the Hustings

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