I have 11 stories published in
0 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 7388 times
and 19 of my stories have been cherry picked. 324 of my 3,340 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 329 votes
324 of my comments have received 329 Great Feedback votes
Lindy, I'm a serial starter and finish over months in dribs. You can come back to this if it doesn't feel right now - sometimes takes me a year for a 3, 000 word story to settle or solidify before I can even spit it out. Hope you know what I'm...
Very touching and really felt the brick metaphor, particularly liked how it became a feature of friendship and mere concrete became environmental struggle as well as final struggle.
Yes, got me in the heart. Its light touch softens it, but a touch of heavy's allowed. Parental attachment is an emotional abcess and a source of identification that defies all other bonds.
Hello Broamalia, this is going well and your description is really considered.Perhaps consider giving the old woman and boy a name so that there isn't too much anonymity along the way.
Hi Stephen, you've asked for some feedback - just had a read through your piece. Welcome to ABC firstly. There are some lovely poetic qualities to your prose, particularly the last two paragraphs. The little girl is intriguing and I want to know...
Intriguing characters and the dialogue pulls your reader in. You could open with 'She bent to retrieve' and tag your other paragraphs onto the close of last chapter. Keep going.
Refreshingly different.
Posted on Wed, 01 Oct 2014
Refreshingly different.
Read full commentPosted in The Ministry of Kisses
Rhythm flows much better now,
Posted on Tue, 30 Sep 2014
Rhythm flows much better now, Bee The speculative element to it resonates after the read, too.
Read full commentPosted in When We Are Changed - (edited)
A beautiful piece. You've
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2014
A beautiful piece. You've precisely captured said rawness in the most unusual images, some I'd never associate with grief but now I will.
Read full commentPosted in Rosalind
Gosh, not an easy task with
Posted on Fri, 26 Sep 2014
Gosh, not an easy task with all those conditions. With restraint, as they say.
Read full commentPosted in I Can Do What I Want!
Lindy, I'm a serial starter
Posted on Thu, 25 Sep 2014
Lindy, I'm a serial starter and finish over months in dribs. You can come back to this if it doesn't feel right now - sometimes takes me a year for a 3, 000 word story to settle or solidify before I can even spit it out. Hope you know what I'm...
Read full commentPosted in Another World
Very touching and really felt
Posted on Thu, 25 Sep 2014
Very touching and really felt the brick metaphor, particularly liked how it became a feature of friendship and mere concrete became environmental struggle as well as final struggle.
Read full commentPosted in BRICKS
Yes, got me in the heart. Its
Posted on Wed, 17 Sep 2014
Yes, got me in the heart. Its light touch softens it, but a touch of heavy's allowed. Parental attachment is an emotional abcess and a source of identification that defies all other bonds.
Read full commentPosted in When I Am The Apple of No One's Eye
Hello Broamalia, this is
Posted on Thu, 18 Sep 2014
Hello Broamalia, this is going well and your description is really considered.Perhaps consider giving the old woman and boy a name so that there isn't too much anonymity along the way.
'leapt' in the last line.
Read full commentPosted in Progeniture, Ch. 4
Hi Stephen, you've asked for
Posted on Wed, 17 Sep 2014
Hi Stephen, you've asked for some feedback - just had a read through your piece. Welcome to ABC firstly. There are some lovely poetic qualities to your prose, particularly the last two paragraphs. The little girl is intriguing and I want to know...
Read full commentPosted in Journey
Intriguing characters and the
Posted on Tue, 16 Sep 2014
Intriguing characters and the dialogue pulls your reader in. You could open with 'She bent to retrieve' and tag your other paragraphs onto the close of last chapter. Keep going.
Read full commentPosted in Progeniture, Ch. 3
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