| Story | The Road to Nowhere Special - Chapter II | J. A. Stapleton | 2 | 10 years 11 months ago |
| Story | The Magician's Assistant | hilary west | 9 | 11 years 2 weeks ago |
| Story | Devil's Breath | Philip Sidney | 8 | 11 years 4 weeks ago |
| Story | Foss | Philip Sidney | 10 | 11 years 4 weeks ago |
| Story | On Not Seeing the Northern Lights | Philip Sidney | 13 | 11 years 4 weeks ago |
| Story | A celebration of austerity | Terrence Oblong | 10 | 11 years 1 month ago |
| Story | Dirty Lucre | Philip Sidney | 15 | 11 years 1 month ago |
| Story | The City Lives | Philip Sidney | 23 | 11 years 1 month ago |
| Story | Revision | Philip Sidney | 23 | 11 years 1 month ago |
| Story | Leggings a ring reforged. | maisie | 4 | 11 years 1 month ago |
| Story | New Year Text Message | love_writing | 7 | 11 years 1 month ago |
| Story | With the Mother of all Headaches... | Silver Spun Sand | 25 | 11 years 1 month ago |
| Story | Completeness | Ama_G | 3 | 11 years 2 months ago |
| Story | a dowry | celticman | 12 | 11 years 2 months ago |
| Story | Potential | EB | 19 | 11 years 2 months ago |
| Story | Walk About a Bit | Bee | 21 | 11 years 2 months ago |
| Story | What do grown-ups mean by a ‘short’ walk? | Rhiannonw | 6 | 11 years 2 months ago |
| Story | Love Cats | celticman | 20 | 11 years 2 months ago |
| Story | Why a secretive society is an unhealthy, unhappy and dishonest society | well-wisher | 2 | 11 years 3 months ago |
| Story | Long Night's Journey into Day | Silver Spun Sand | 13 | 11 years 3 months ago |
| Story | Colour Between the Folds | Mark Say | 5 | 11 years 3 months ago |
| Story | January | Rhiannonw | 20 | 11 years 3 months ago |
| Story | Down to the River | Bee | 9 | 11 years 3 months ago |
| Story | Déjà vu | Bee | 16 | 11 years 3 months ago |
| Story | Up in the Gods | Philip Sidney | 14 | 11 years 4 months ago |
Sharp, focussed storytelling
Posted on Sat, 20 Dec 2014
Sharp, focussed storytelling here - well controlled prose.
Read full commentPosted in 25 Years After
I like the structure and the
Posted on Fri, 28 Nov 2014
I like the structure and the style which is 'tough', direct and concise. Good show on the cherry.
Read full commentPosted in Kevin Smiled
Wasn't there a competition
Posted on Thu, 04 Sep 2014
Wasn't there a competition with the theme of 'Joy'? If there is, I think you could definitely extend this (if extension is necessary). It's a really well structured narrative. I cannot overstate how much I appreciate your 'proper' stories. This...
Read full commentPosted in Joy
I'm going to be honest and
Posted on Wed, 27 Aug 2014
I'm going to be honest and say that this isn't for me, but it is really clean and tough and cold. It's definitely a skillful piece of writing. I like that the clinical language matches the content.
Read full commentPosted in Spit Out the Bugs in Your Mouth
Too mad for me to analyse so
Posted on Fri, 29 Aug 2014
Too mad for me to analyse so I'll just say that you don't need the quotation marks in a script. This looks strangely familiar. ;)
Read full commentPosted in The argument with a chap who thinks everyone is a clock: Part 1
I really like the poem. I
Posted on Tue, 26 Aug 2014
I really like the poem. I think that the abstract expression in the first stanza is a little distracting, But I think it's great from stanza 2 onwards.
Read full commentPosted in Strummer on a late summers' day
Before I read this poem I
Posted on Mon, 25 Aug 2014
Before I read this poem I just want to say how amazed I am by your prolificness (word?). The only reason I don't read everything you do is that I can't keep up! And even with that, the quality of what you do is so high!
For a tortoise like...
Read full commentPosted in It Usually Rains at Funerals
Great closing couplet
Posted on Wed, 20 Aug 2014
I too, love the closing couplet. You use a lot of very short main clauses. In fact all of the lines except 6 and 13 end with one, and this creates a kind of staccato about the piece as a whole. Was this the intention (it fits pretty well I think...
Read full commentPosted in Dirty Lucre
Phonologically Yours
Posted on Wed, 20 Aug 2014
You've got some great phonology going on here. I love the line:
the stars, are at the bars, seen slow dancing in the near dusty air
some heavy sibilance, consonance, alliteration going on there!
Read full commentPosted in bastard Ghalza
You've got a good 'fairy tale
Posted on Sat, 16 Aug 2014
You've got a good 'fairy tale' quality about your writing voice - but this is very messy. You really do need to read this though and tidy it up a bit for the sake of your reader.
You're a real storyteller - so make it count!
Thanks...
Read full commentPosted in The Drawer
Pages