Strummer on a late summers' day

Cherry

By lenchenelf

Tue, 26 Aug 2014
  • 1818 reads
6 comments
 

Bloodrises as a flock:

singular startled sparrows

strummed from gumstuck precint.

 

Notes reset mortar

in dessicated redbrick

and passing hearts.

 

A song we lilt in steps

or stumbles.

 

Open chords

open smile,

open case;

 

a few coins.

 

Heads up,

heads turn.

Inclined to nod.

 

One voice

embraces our isolation

 

for a moment.

 

Then we, a city, once more.

 

Certificate U
Poem
Camera Obscura
Philosophy

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

Loved this.

Bee

Submitted by lenchenelf on

...for your kind words Bee.

all the best

Lena xx

 

Submitted by Geoff Smith on

I really like the poem. I think that the abstract expression in the first stanza is a little distracting, But I think it's great from stanza 2 onwards.

Thanks for reading. I am grateful for your time.

Submitted by lenchenelf on

...quite right, an adjustment to punctuation of first stanza may help, though immediate sensory exploding out to environment & social context meant to be disorientating; clarification through centrality of shared experience :)  (guessed at, for who can Know?) 

Ta muchly Jasper

 

Lena xx

 

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Pure poetry, Lena.

Tina xx

 

Submitted by lenchenelf on

...Thank you Tina, trying out ideas as ever and welcome your always generous encourgement.

best wishes

Lena x