30 of my comments have received 31 Great Feedback votes
I loved this again - it has
Posted on Sat, 10 Jan 2015
I loved this again - it has something really classy about it - Hardy / Frost / Thomas can't place it but I love it.
I don't like the line: 'How long until the world will live as one' which I think is a bit trite and distracts from the rest...Read full comment
Posted in Blow wind Blow
I really like the fact that
Posted on Thu, 27 Feb 2014
I really like the fact that you have only used the sense images and that there is no ideological comment aside from what the reader chooses to take out. I also like the sentence structures that have that sense of breathless concentration. I like...Read full comment
Posted in Bike Ride
I really enjoyed the writing
Posted on Fri, 15 Sep 2017
I really enjoyed the writing and the parallels between the political and the personal. I kind of agreed wtih Celticman - if this is a part of a longer story - it might be something to look at later. But if that's the case it's too early to tell...Read full comment
Posted in Document 1
Liked this a lot. The writing
Posted on Thu, 14 Sep 2017
Liked this a lot. The writing is very powerful. Very philosphical. I liked ths stuff at the end about the subjugation of the body and the mind. It fits really well with the veganism. The whole piece feels very cohesive.Read full comment
Posted in relapse prevention therapy
Still at it - looking good J.A.
Posted on Sat, 29 Jul 2017
Hi. Great to see you still writing J.A..
And you're getting really good. Some of these sentences are awesome.
Here are some phrases / sentences you might think about changing:
- even the long and white sand dunes in the ...
I LOVE what you do with the
Posted on Sat, 16 May 2015
I LOVE what you do with the ending. Retake culture, though being 'banned' by the anti-market capitalists in government came about through demand and the desperation that young people feel about succeeding in this unequal (and becoming...Read full comment
Posted in Revision
I'm not sure I fully
Posted on Fri, 20 Mar 2015
I'm not sure I fully understand this one, but there's plenty to think about, the strong rhymes that fall away and surge back, the designed used of capitalisation. It's a poem about writing and the product is... death?
It's jarring and...Read full comment
Posted in Down to the River
'Fuck you sir,' well fuck you
Posted on Mon, 26 Jan 2015
'Fuck you sir,' well fuck you too,
I can't say that but what I do
is remove you and spend half the day
filling paperwork for the PL's tray.
We've all been there! This poem's quite an epic, and I admit I was drawn in by...Read full comment
Posted in Lazy Bloody Teachers