pens and paper-chapter 4

Only one more hour. One more. You can do it. I stared at the minute hand contently, content soon turning to fustration. Move faster... please. i sighed. "Miss Booth, is there something you would like to share with the class." Resisting the erge to roll my eyes and scoff at the over used line that teachers thought sounded cool and intimidating, i turned away from the evil clock and stared at the teacher, saying nothing. After all, he wants me to talk right? It was a trap, like a fly in a spider's web, the more you tried to escape his accusing stare, the more humiliated you would be by the end. I felt more eyes turn towards me, following the errie silence. I just sat there staring at the metaphorical spider until i thought i had got my point across that I could not care less and went back to trying to intimidate the clock. I heard a forced cough echo through the room and forced the smile playing on my lips to stay hidden. Knowing I couldnt control myself much longer, I gave him what he wanted. I talked. 

20 minutes later I am walking home, suspension letter in hand, smiling like an idiot. Three days without any questions or teachers. I walk through the front door. Silence. At this point i am smiling so hard i feel my cheeks acheing. I dash up the stairs into my room, slamming the closet door open and snatching up a black bag in the corner. I raced out the house setting a fast pace. I had always liked running; it was calming to me, the feeling of wind in my face, the rythm of my steps. I loved it all.

 Minutes later i arrived at an abandoned warehouse, this place had become my sanctuary for the past six months. I had made a habit of coming here whenever I had to get away from everything, i had started to paint the walls on the inside, i painted quotes from books with illistrations, i painted my dreams and visions, or rather what was left of them. it was my place to express my weak side, the side i could not show my family. The side I could not show to anyone. 

And so I opened my bag, and I painted.

I painted my weakness.