RML
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The Ingestible Kaleidoscope
The buzz melts in Sinks under skin It's not quite relief but softens clenched teeth Provides some comfort Numbs the heart hurt A simple illusion for...
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- 378 reads
Bringing Charlie Back (Rewrite)
She’s come over like I asked, and now all I can do is stare at her. My gaze seems to physically agitate her. I need to say something. “Well are you...
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- 1594 reads
Nothing Gold Can Stay
“It’s in these hours I usually learn the most about myself.” “When you’re stoned at 2 AM?” She laughs playfully. “No,” I pluck the joint from her...
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- 660 reads
My Own Little World
I don’t know. I guess it’s just comforting being with you. Smoking with you. Drinking with you. Just me and you, no one else. It’s so much simpler,...
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- 1630 reads
Bring Charlie Back
He keeps looking at me. He needs to stop looking at me. “Just don’t.” I finally say. “Don’t what?” “Give that half-assed apology where you basically...
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- 1747 reads
Good ideas for a book, but I
Posted on Wed, 30 Dec 2015
Good ideas for a book, but I think all of this should be explained throughout the story. If that's too difficult maybe create a character replacing the spot of the reader? It would just make it easier to write as you move forward rather than have...
Read full commentPosted in A.E Book I Arc I
Really enjoyed this. Some of
Posted on Mon, 08 Jun 2015
Really enjoyed this. Some of your lines really stood out for me. For example, "My couch sunk a little deeper on Sundays for a while". Also loved "I woke up with too much blanket on me for a while." Great job!
Read full commentPosted in What We Had
I think you have a good thing
Posted on Sun, 02 Aug 2015
I think you have a good thing going here. Your stories are easily relatable for teens. The only thing is our language has changed a bit and a lot of the words you use just feel out of place. I'm just going to copy and paste in the story, then...
Read full commentPosted in A Songstress' Lore of Lies
I agree with Bee; really
Posted on Tue, 18 Aug 2015
I agree with Bee; really interesting story. I enjoyed every bit of it, though I feel like a lot of it may have gone over my head. I thought the curtainless windows was a cool detail. Maybe the bright light was exposing the truth? Anyways, great...
Read full commentPosted in Need and notes in glass bowls
Definitely kept my attention.
Posted on Wed, 14 Jan 2015
Definitely kept my attention. Just a little predictable with James being her savior in the end. Like of course he somehow knew Lori was in trouble and found a way to get through the locked doors. Though this can obviously be explained later to...
Read full commentPosted in The Songstress' Lore of Lies
I liked this one too. I
Posted on Mon, 11 May 2015
I liked this one too. I always have a clear picture of what's happening with your writing, which I love. The only thing I've noticed is that sometimees you use a comma when you should really use a semicolon. For exmaple, "Ever since I moved to...
Read full commentPosted in A Morning in the Life of Many Ordinary People
I really enjoyed this. Though
Posted on Mon, 26 Jan 2015
I really enjoyed this. Though I was confused on some parts. For exmaple, when the animal said "thaks for fighting back" I didnt really get this. Also, was the boy so distraught because he used the gun and no the dagger, or just because he killed...
Read full commentPosted in After Days - Chapter 1