When we made LOVE I sliced my finger with a knife, When we made LOVE I cut off my fingernail, I helped with YOU MUM And I carried YOU out, I crafted...
3 of my comments have received 3 Great Feedback votes
1 Vote
Terrrrific tale. I love the
Posted on Fri, 19 Feb 2016
Terrrrific tale. I love the fluency of the story and the rhyming of the speech, between the descriptive sections. I was almost expecting to hear, 'it's behind you,' somewhere in there. This would be a good piece to convert to a pantomime.
Written with compassion , you have commanded the readers attention with this Poem. It is regimented and orderly. A story in Rhyme. Without generalization you have described the private fears and sorrows of a delisted soldier, damaged physically...
Terrrrific tale. I love the
Posted on Fri, 19 Feb 2016
Terrrrific tale. I love the fluency of the story and the rhyming of the speech, between the descriptive sections. I was almost expecting to hear, 'it's behind you,' somewhere in there. This would be a good piece to convert to a pantomime.
Read full commentPosted in The Everlasting Pie
Written with compassion , you
Posted on Wed, 27 Jan 2016
Written with compassion , you have commanded the readers attention with this Poem. It is regimented and orderly. A story in Rhyme. Without generalization you have described the private fears and sorrows of a delisted soldier, damaged physically...
Read full commentPosted in The Verdict
There was more than a twist
Posted on Wed, 06 Jan 2016
There was more than a twist to his tail. I like the unusual story. Well written with good pace and an unexpected ending.
Read full commentPosted in Rudy, Lil Red and DJ Gran [Red Riding Hood Retelling]