In Southern China, a fat old commie entrepeuner is washing viagra down with a tonic made of tiger balls. 20,000 Leagues beneath the sea, the liver of an electric eel is struggling with the mercury created in the production of this pen. At a posh private school in Malibu, a future president is bullying a nerd who will someday write the great American novel. In Jamacia, a man with grey dreads is entertaining a crowd of ice-cream cone sporting tourists by doing a headstand on a beer mug. In Bombay, a sweet young tech-support unit is up late, reverently turning the pages of "The Bhagavita." In Sweden, Bjorn Borg, dressed entirely in his own clothing line, is receiving service from a model who loves him for his valour on the tennis court. Outside Fallujah, a Marine lieutenant is using his iPod to buy Apple stock, which has tripled in the past year; next month it will drop one tenth and his mother will be killed at a poorly designed intersection. In a galaxy far, far away, three-headed university students are furiously scribbling notes as they watch Hitler speak at the Berlin Olympics, our first broadcast into space. On the African Serengeti, a teen antelope with so much to live for is sprinting faster than he ever has before to escape a lithe older lioness; a 31 year old British babe is congratulating herself on a smashing picture. In Alaska, a twelve year old girl, whose father is slaving away on a fishing schooner, is deciding if Jay-Z or Fabolos is more talented; She's going to click on Fabolos. In Guam, I'm listening to a bible-thumping meth dealer jack off in the bunk below me as I wistfully watch a grove of palm trees sway in the wind through a barred window. John Lennon said, "But if you're talking about destruction, you know you can count me out." But I say, "You know, you can go ahead and drop the bombs."
