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| Story | For the love of Jeremy Corbyn | span | 13 | 7 years 5 months ago |
| Forum topic | Am I thinking too hard about my writing? | JOswick | 6 | 7 years 6 months ago |
| Story | Iron: Man | Pat G | 9 | 7 years 7 months ago |
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| Story | The Call Centre | Denzella | 10 | 7 years 9 months ago |
| Story | The Baobab Tree. | Weefatfella | 7 | 7 years 9 months ago |
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This is charming, rhyme runs
Posted on Mon, 04 Apr 2016
This is charming, rhyme runs well. Did feel that the second lines in first three stanzas might have been chosen because they fit the rhyme and could be developed to extend the metaphor some more.
Read full commentPosted in To House A Home
Through to the bone, the
Posted on Fri, 01 Apr 2016
Through to the bone, the heart. So well conveyed, Bee.
Read full commentPosted in Phantommams
The mirroring of each natural
Posted on Wed, 30 Mar 2016
The mirroring of each natural act illuminates biology and does a tremendous job of overwhelming your reader's emotions through vivid, dramatic imagery that is full of sensitivity. Gorgeous.
Read full commentPosted in First Breath:Last Breath
There is something gothic and
Posted on Tue, 29 Mar 2016
There is something gothic and macabre growing bigger here as you read, the merge of frozen nature and frozen child (perhaps child, I dont know) You create a stark tableau.Great use of repetition, I think this is beautiful.
Read full commentPosted in Chanter - (poetry monthly)
All that suffering's worth it
Posted on Mon, 28 Mar 2016
All that suffering's worth it, you can feel the chemistry. Some razor lines, a touch of wit, a rabbit and a threat.
Read full commentPosted in Her eyes became the future
You make a whole new world
Posted on Wed, 23 Mar 2016
You make a whole new world make sense. The detail on childhood is believable and gives just enough sense of coldness and detachment to not to want to ever go back.
Read full commentPosted in The Net Caster (Part Seventeen)
Oh, it's a beauty and
Posted on Tue, 22 Mar 2016
Oh, it's a beauty and emotionally crushing. Love the juxtaposition of the cosy domestic scene against the bulb's tombs, unsettling, stays with you. Holds us far away then some close proximity, a way in at the line about the son and the daughter....
Read full commentPosted in The Naming of Bulbs
A tense read and wonderfully
Posted on Mon, 21 Mar 2016
A tense read and wonderfully constructed.
Read full commentPosted in Three cold kisses
There are some poignant
Posted on Fri, 18 Mar 2016
There are some poignant hallucinatory type images here, resonant ones that stay with you. Unsettling and dark, the vulnerable images of her lost at night and the folklore narrative style make it very arresting.
Read full commentPosted in The Time Saver's Daughter
Cut 'can one agree' perhaps.
Posted on Mon, 07 Mar 2016
Cut 'can one agree' perhaps. Substitute with something else. The question doesn't have the same welly.
Read full commentPosted in One (Inspiration Point)
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