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Oh, it's a beauty and
Posted on Tue, 22 Mar 2016
Oh, it's a beauty and emotionally crushing. Love the juxtaposition of the cosy domestic scene against the bulb's tombs, unsettling, stays with you. Holds us far away then some close proximity, a way in at the line about the son and the daughter....
Read full commentPosted in The Naming of Bulbs
A tense read and wonderfully
Posted on Mon, 21 Mar 2016
A tense read and wonderfully constructed.
Read full commentPosted in Three cold kisses
There are some poignant
Posted on Fri, 18 Mar 2016
There are some poignant hallucinatory type images here, resonant ones that stay with you. Unsettling and dark, the vulnerable images of her lost at night and the folklore narrative style make it very arresting.
Read full commentPosted in The Time Saver's Daughter
Cut 'can one agree' perhaps.
Posted on Mon, 07 Mar 2016
Cut 'can one agree' perhaps. Substitute with something else. The question doesn't have the same welly.
Read full commentPosted in One (Inspiration Point)
What a rant. This is fire in
Posted on Mon, 07 Mar 2016
What a rant. This is fire in the belly stuff. Such a satisfying read, your use of rhetorical statements layers up persuasion.
Read full commentPosted in One (Inspiration Point)
What a tempo this has, all
Posted on Fri, 04 Mar 2016
What a tempo this has, all the sibilance and alliteration, the fast paced punch of a mother's sick mind. Most moving. Would like to hear this, it is far-reaching and word placement is immaculate. Are you up for one edit suggestion? If unwanted,...
Read full commentPosted in Nuthoused
Very affecting. Colloquial
Posted on Wed, 02 Mar 2016
Very affecting. Colloquial tone is effective, child-like lens too.
Read full commentPosted in Too Cold for Snow...
This is so sharp. I really
Posted on Thu, 25 Feb 2016
This is so sharp. I really like it. The contrast of IT and field mouse is well drawn, the power of nature and literary word too. You touch on the the three blind mice nursery rhyme, and perception beyond visual sight, extended with wit and pizazz...
Read full commentPosted in Mouse.poem
This is really beautiful. Two
Posted on Thu, 25 Feb 2016
This is really beautiful. Two things: One, you captured the person inside the anonymous and stereotypically perceived homeless guy, one, you've used a pen portrait in unusual colours to restore social hope. It's a very strong piece of work in my...
Read full commentPosted in Painting the Homeless Godly
A celebratory sort of regret.
Posted on Thu, 18 Feb 2016
A celebratory sort of regret. So well paced and minutiae of your original details gives it potency.
Read full commentPosted in Anniversary
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