derekpayton512

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I have 13 stories published in 3 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 8334 times and one story has been cherrypicked.
2 of my 12 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 2 votes

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Derek Payton

I am a young writer looking for constructive criticism! Please comment and let me know what you think, I'm really here for opinions and advice. If you are experienced with grammar and sentence structure, and would like to give some advice in those fields, please comment! If you see recurring errors in any of my pieces, please feel free to comment! :D

My stories

Abdiel

This is a short story that opens a small window into the life of a boy and his father who come from a long line of clergy. It contains alot of elements that affected my childhood, and I think I might use it later as a springboard for a novel.

The 21st

A story of two young lovers, based on one of my own experiences. I changed some names and details for the purpose of writing, but the basis of the plot, the descriptions of the people involved, and most of the sex scene are written from true events. Darren is a former drug dealer, the term is used generically because he sold whatever he got his hands on, not just a specific substance. He met Melody at a trap house, during a time that most of what he sold was methamphetamine. He was so strung out that he failed to get her info. He saw her again when he was arrested around 10 months later, and again was unable to get her info. He finally got her number when he saw her at court, and proceeded to ask her on a date. The night that followed was the most passionate night of his life, to date. I won't confirm or deny that Darren is based on myself, for obvious reasons.

The Crash

A concise poem illustrating the way I view the thought process of people in my country.

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