derekpayton512

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I have 13 stories published in 3 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 6419 times and one story has been cherrypicked.
2 of my 12 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 2 votes

derekpayton512's picture
Derek Payton

I am a young writer looking for constructive criticism! Please comment and let me know what you think, I'm really here for opinions and advice. If you are experienced with grammar and sentence structure, and would like to give some advice in those fields, please comment! If you see recurring errors in any of my pieces, please feel free to comment! :D

My stories

Fall

I never thought it would be this way, I saw forever in you. Well I have no words left to say, What am I supposed to do? Baby you don't have to leave...

Day of the Dead

I drew my inspiration from a song called "Day of The Dead" by Hollywood Undead. The first six lines are the lyrics that inspired the piece.

Adam.

Not my usual writing style, I tried something new. The thoughts from the mind of a fifth-grade version of myself.

Sip the Pain

I tried to keep it very simple here. The poem is free-verse, but I felt somewhat of a pattern as I wrote.

Stand my Brother

A free-verse poem illustrating my current state of mind.

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2 of my comments have received 2 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

I feel ya on this one man. I

Posted on Thu, 23 Jul 2015

I feel ya on this one man. I've never been in .... quite that situation. As in she wasn't my fiancee, nor was my "buddy" brutally murdered by Chuck E. Cheese. I've been down the same road emotionally however, and I implore you to keep an eye on...

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Posted in What did i walk into

1 Vote

Still impressed.

Posted on Sun, 19 Jul 2015

I've been reading through alot of your writing, and I have to say I'm still quite impressed. I think I have found a standard to strive for. If you have some time at any point, I would like to ask for your opinions on some of my poetry. 

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Posted in I Wrote a Little Sunshine Song - Video