The Chronicles of Bulgaria
By Turlough
Whimsical descriptions of episodes in my life as an immigrant living in rural Bulgaria.
- 694 reads
Frosty the Snowman
I was going to go out to the garden and build a snowman but then I remembered that I needed to put some fat on the cat’s abscess. I haven’t been...
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- 1452 reads
Devil Gate Drive

Between our village, Malki Chiflik, and our capital, Sofia, the road cuts its way through the Balkan range of mountains, assisted by several lofty...
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- 1490 reads
The Merry Moth of December

I think that in a previous life I may have been a moth. Although I’ve never eaten a woolly jumper or bashed my brains out on a car windscreen, I can’...
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- 2126 reads
Haemorrhoid Android

As long as I have known my dear Priyatelka, she has radiated great warmth and kindness. She is a charming woman who loves life, adores children,...
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- 3036 reads
A Hot Little Model from France

The kitchen took on the appearance of an overfilled Greetings from Murmansk snow globe as the door flew open and in gushed a torrent of winter’s...
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- 3488 reads
I Fought the Law

Apart from having a wee behind a bin down a back alley in Middlesbrough when I was eight years old and a tiny bit of embezzlement around six years...
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- 3785 reads
Rakia Maria - Part One of Two

I love the month of March in Bulgaria. It heralds the beginning of a four-month long explosion of nature straight off the back of the iciest winters...
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- 3460 reads
Rakia Maria – Part Two of Two

So I said to Priyatelkata ‘Isn’t it lovely?’ and she replied ‘Yes! It’s very lovely.’ Maria added, ‘Life and health!’ in Bulgarian, of course. What...
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- 4053 reads
Scorn Not His Djezve

A tongue in cheek assessment of the misnomer that making good coffee is complicated.
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- 2457 reads
Lingo Bingo

An explanation of the labour of love of my life that may have started out a long time ago as a labour of clinging on to my life.
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- 5990 reads
Johnny Ten Levs

Johnny’s always drifting around, trying to find, alcohol.
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- 2819 reads
There’s a Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He’s Engels

Dyado Petr, Baba Stefka and Todor Zhivkov are/were real people, the earthquake and appointment of a new head of state really did happen, and the places I’ve mentioned really do exist, but much of the rest of this tale is a fig leaf of my imagination. However, it describes an event that could have taken place in my part of Bulgaria seventy years ago. Superstition is so strong and diverse here that it’s possible to make it up and get away with it. Maybe I did make it up and maybe I didn’t.
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- 508 reads