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"I'm a tiny round egg in the
Posted on Thu, 25 May 2023
"I'm a tiny round egg in the Sargasso Sea.." I understand this is one of the wonders of the planet and you document just one of its inhabitants and its epic journey so well, Rhiannon. The Circle of Life in all its glory. Wonderful. Paul
Read full commentPosted in On the 6500+ km journey, twice
Such a lot has happened in
Posted on Tue, 07 Jul 2015
Such a lot has happened in this chapter. The moral ambiguity of the accidental poisoning of Bracus and his men and the moral dilemma of how to deal with it. The burial scene and the replacement of the Dead being left in catacombs. The Blessing....
Read full commentPosted in Dwellers of the New World Chapter Fifteen ( Pt 14 ) Sad Goodbyes
Hi Jenny. A cinematic,
Posted on Sun, 15 Mar 2015
Hi Jenny. A cinematic, dramatic sequence. Addie's unsaid thoughts about nature seem to sum things up nicely in that this feels like it's about a balance and the fragility of things. That's a beautiful painting. [Should that say "current of air"...
Read full commentPosted in Dwellers of the New World Chapter Fifteen ( Pt 3 ) Time To Leave
Ah pesky crevice tools. There
Posted on Tue, 23 May 2023
Ah pesky crevice tools. There's an impish quality to this story. Maybe a follow up would be the results of the subsequent interrogation of the little ones! This all made me smile, Rhiannon. Paul :)
Read full commentPosted in Grandpa is the repair man!
I so look forward to picking
Posted on Tue, 26 Aug 2014
I so look forward to picking this story up and reading more, Jenny. It's clear that your heart and soul went into it. I loved the tension of Dawson being rescued and the children being led to a safe haven. I really like the way you set the scene...
Read full commentPosted in Dwellers of the New World Chapter Fourteen ( Pt 9 ) Mysterious Disappearances
What a spectacular sea voyage
Posted on Sat, 08 Mar 2014
What a spectacular sea voyage. The sequence with the Snags at the launch was quite something. Then the terror of the flying ants, drip worms and the demise of poor Jason. Onwards to dry land!
Read full commentPosted in Dwellers of the New World Chapter Twelve ( Pt 11 ) On the Horizon
Hi Jenny. Your characters are
Posted on Sun, 22 Sep 2013
Hi Jenny. Your characters are so carefully drawn. Is the villainous Gregor based on anyone in particular? Paul
Read full commentPosted in Dwellers of the New World Chapter Eleven ( Pt 7 ) Finding Accomodation
You bring to life the
Posted on Mon, 29 Jul 2013
You bring to life the workings of a coastal community so well. The imagery of stone cottages, fishermen and people going about their business lends an air of authority to the story. Loved the sequence with the flying fish. Looking forward to the...
Read full commentPosted in Dwellers of the New World Chapter Ten ( Pt 9 ) New Beginnings
"Gushing, rushing, talk, talk
Posted on Fri, 19 May 2023
"Gushing, rushing, talk, talk,
walk away from work, shirk.."
Those first two lines give energy to the rest of the poem. Lots of carefully placed wording means a nicely crafted IP response, Rhiannon. Paul
Read full commentPosted in Only Words …
You are painting a great
Posted on Wed, 29 May 2013
You are painting a great villain in Gregor. He seems to have no redeeming qualities at all at the moment. Again, written with a patient pace that adds so much depth. Onwards to Chapter 10 at the weekend..
Read full commentPosted in Dwellers of the New World Chapter Nine ( Pt 9 ) More Trouble Lies Ahead
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