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Moon Space [1]
The moon was once part of the earth so they say, now it’s lifeless, separate from its former heartbeat. Does the earth realise that when it let the...
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- 448 reads
Awkward Salt
I see her coming, hurried pink in the face and jumper. Her torso leans slightly forwards, shoulders furling in. She opens the door, it’s smaller than...
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- 267 reads
Eat [2]
It was Sunday when we stepped off the ferry in Tarbert on the Isle of Lewis. That meant, the ferryman said, there was no food to be had. I’d thought...
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- 457 reads
Eat [I]
Our green blankets, those which kept us snug, are pulled back with a crack, discarded long threads which we had sewn in and around our multiples are...
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- 299 reads
Taste
Out of my teacup half-way down, I smacked my lips made sure with my tongue as my throat smarted it reminded me of young days when I would blow a...
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- 278 reads
You took me there 'drifting
Posted on Mon, 21 Sep 2015
You took me there 'drifting peacefully on a lone cloud' circling back round again to the 'what will happen if I leave this world.' You captured a feeling of pensive sadness, highlighted by the colours and serenity of space. I'm...
Read full commentPosted in If I Was To Leave This World
Nicely done - I like the
Posted on Tue, 25 Aug 2015
Nicely done - I like the structure, rhyming and the use of the U turn in the ending :)
Read full commentPosted in The Ultimate Outcome (IP)
Nice imagery with the trit
Posted on Tue, 25 Aug 2015
Nice imagery with the trit trot and pony tail streaming in the wind. Loved the winged sunshine child. Beautiful heartfelt last stanza...and lovely photo.
Read full commentPosted in On my Daughter Learning to Ride
A most believable voice. Feel
Posted on Sun, 23 Aug 2015
A most believable voice. Feel outraged and angry at the misunderstanding; 'She just never says 'No' or 'Yes'. You've portrayed this character and highlighted this issue really well. Only thing I'd say is- a smalll suggestion- do you need that...
Read full commentPosted in Saturday Night and Sunday Morning
Really worth sorting out
Posted on Wed, 19 Aug 2015
Really worth sorting out those few typo's as this is really good and heartfelt as Bee says.
'bur' is maybe but?
Really enjoyed 'word silhouettes/ tree cigarettes'
Read full commentPosted in Negative Spaces
Found this engaging both in
Posted on Sat, 08 Aug 2015
Found this engaging both in the characters inner thoughts and story line. Lovely conversational voice and the last paragraph ties it up nicely.
Read full commentPosted in The Path of the Black Cat
Lovely tribute to sisters - I
Posted on Thu, 23 Jul 2015
Lovely tribute to sisters - I have to agree they help 'see the goodness in me'.
Read full commentPosted in Sisters Are Angels
Takes away the morbidity of
Posted on Wed, 08 Jul 2015
Takes away the morbidity of cemetry, graves, death. Makes death sound freeing. I really enjoyed this, thanks for sharing!
Read full commentPosted in Last Request
Sweet.. bittersweet.. sharp
Posted on Thu, 09 Jul 2015
Sweet.. bittersweet.. sharp and poignant.
'hair the colour of straw with a wonky smile'
A most lovely and emotive read. Loved the vibrancy of the Mumbai red and gold.
Read full commentPosted in Sweet Daughter Mine
I found the words used at
Posted on Sat, 04 Jul 2015
I found the words used at each line break worked effectively- for instance; black, rubbish, throw, in first stanza. Some pungent smells created with the green bin contents, and an emotive last stanza- enjoyed reading this!
Read full commentPosted in Garbage
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