Insertponceyfrenchnamehere

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I have 17 stories published in one collection on the site.
My stories have been read 319970 times and 170 of my stories have been cherry picked.
765 of my 11,075 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 780 votes

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My stories

Cherry

Shoelaces

The way he told me, he saw it as a kind of existentialist episode. “It’s like the left side of my brain’s taken over from the right side” he said, “… the sensible side.
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Cherry

Goldilocks and the Three Bears (Inspiration Point)

Once upon a time, not so long ago, Goldilocks went for a walk in the woods, but no sooner had she got there than she realized she was wearing six inch heels.
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Cherry

Las Vegas 3

“So what would happen if we didn’t give it back? If we just kept going?
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Cherry

Las Vegas 2

It’s half past eight in the evening, but it’s still boiling hot. The temperature gauge says it’s 110, so the first thing we do is put the roof down.
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Story of the week

Las Vegas

We’ve finished laughing at the room. We’ve examined the funny fake ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs that they’ve plastered everywhere.
2 likes

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765 of my comments have received 780 Great Feedback votes

2 Votes

I really like all the detail

Posted on Thu, 07 Feb 2019

I really like all the detail in this and also think the two main characters are shaping up nicely

A couple of suggestions:

The dialogue as they walk around the town - it's a bit block of text followed by block of text and I'm not...

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Posted in Charlie and Eliza (Pt 1)

2 Votes

nicely written - I prefer

Posted on Wed, 30 Jan 2019

nicely written - I prefer this piece to the one you posted yesterday - perhaps because the writing is a bit more relaxed?

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Posted in The Tar Pit (1 of 9)

2 Votes

Di, from experience with one

Posted on Sat, 29 Sep 2018

Di, from experience with one of my sons, a diagnosis is really important - and it can take ages to arrange unless you get it done privately which can cost a fortune. A diagnosis of dyspraxia meant my son was given extra time in GCSEs (whatever...

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Posted in A Martian in the Closet

2 Votes

Hahahaha - thanks for the

Posted on Wed, 11 Jul 2018

Hahahaha - thanks for the translation London/parson - I know it's petty but Tony was very strict about that so I guess we should be too

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Posted in The meeting - good friends

2 Votes

No sense in talking about the

Posted on Wed, 20 Jun 2018

No sense in talking about the cracks.
Blokes don’t need help,
just a good night’s sleep
a shower
a shit
a shave and
a shag
my father said
my mates said
my brother said

that makes me so...

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Posted in The Iceberg

2 Votes

I really like the meticulous

Posted on Sun, 26 Nov 2017

I really like the meticulous detail in this piece - the timetable of the woman's day works well as a frame for the narrative, and the small events come across as very authentic, as does the relationship between the couple.

Suggestions: In...

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Posted in May you live all the days of your life

2 Votes

Hi - what a fascinating peice

Posted on Mon, 10 Feb 2014

Hi - what a fascinating peice this is! it was really interesting the way you compared the different geographical prejudices. My only criticisim is that we're kind of left hanging .... there's so little about when you're actually there. I was...

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Posted in 7 days in Tehran

2 Votes

Hello fining - welcome to ABC

Posted on Sat, 04 Jan 2014

Hello fining - welcome to ABC. This has a nice flow to it, but since you've specifically asked, I do have a couple of observations:

 

firstly, it might have been better to post the prologue and chapter one seperately - easier for...

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Posted in August Shadow (working title): Prologue

1 Vote

This is brilliant Di - all

Posted on Thu, 17 Jun 2021

This is brilliant Di - all that hard work, and it's paid off - well done! I've read somewhere that bees tell each other in a form of dance where to find the good pollen. What other flowers do you have to look forward to?

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Posted in to bee

1 Vote

a real rollercoaster - but

Posted on Wed, 16 Jun 2021

a real rollercoaster - but they are very sweet babies - congratulations!

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Posted in Little Miracles

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