|Story||How Thornton Met Sadie||ice rivers||8||5 months 1 week ago|
|Story||Adlertag||Ewan||4||5 months 1 week ago|
|Story||Dreizehn||Ewan||0||5 months 2 weeks ago|
|Story||Et tu, soror?||pearsonj123||4||5 months 3 weeks ago|
|Story||Feeding a prejudice||Parson Thru||10||5 months 3 weeks ago|
|Story||Salt||onemorething||4||5 months 3 weeks ago|
|Story||These You Have Loved||Ewan||4||5 months 3 weeks ago|
|Story||Shadows and Dust||Ewan||0||5 months 4 weeks ago|
|Story||"Here It Isn't"||Ewan||0||6 months 1 day ago|
|Story||Pad Life: End of Days||airyfairy||19||6 months 1 week ago|
|Story||Love and Grooming 3||Lou Blodgett||1||6 months 2 weeks ago|
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|Story||Thumbs Up on Sunday||ice rivers||12||6 months 2 weeks ago|
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|Story||The Nutty Detective - Part II - A Craven Danger Mystery||hudsonmoon||13||6 months 3 weeks ago|
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80 of my comments have received 82 Great Feedback votes
Posted on Mon, 01 May 2017
a pleasure it was to have known a little about your father's father in your father's own words. There is so little to connect us goyim with the terrible things done in those dark days. Every time a survivor goes, another thread is severed....Read full comment
Posted in Shlamek
I read quite a few
Posted on Fri, 21 Jul 2017
eye-witness accounts of the evacuation. One of them had this:
"the angry hornet noise of dive bombers." So I do not take all the credit for that turn of phrase.
Many of these eye-witness reports were full of such observations, very...
Posted in No Armada
Posted on Mon, 17 Jul 2017
Very descriptive, some nice alliteration and imagery. I particularly liked your neologism, 'coolcurled'.
You have a typo, lizard has one 'Z'.
Do you really need to put 'ivy' at the end? A suitable accompanying...Read full comment
Posted in a sort of green
Really liked this.
Posted on Thu, 13 Jul 2017
You might want to think about the "I"'s lining the page like telegraph poles. It often happens with a first person narrator, I've done it myself. Once it's pointed out you always see it.
Utterly, utterly believable. I hope it's fiction,...Read full comment
Posted in What happens near Rome
This is really good.
Posted on Fri, 30 Jun 2017
The voice as has been mentioned is really good. I like how much subtext there is. How much we're left to fill in for ourselves about your narrator.
A couple of tiny things. Plural of taxi is taxis, there is an archaic form taxies, but it's...
Posted in Earth. Live. Neutral.