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StoryThose Were The Days skinner_jennifer116 years 7 months ago
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2722 of my comments have received 2816 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

I had to read back at one

Posted on Thu, 21 Jul 2016

I had to read back at one point to work out how many people there were and who was who, but apart from that this is great. The dialogue feels very authentic - really nice to see some prose from you! 

One typo - discrete should be discreet

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Posted in Dogs

1 Vote

looking forward to finding

Posted on Tue, 12 Jul 2016

looking forward to finding out more - Welcome to ABCTales!

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Posted in Memoirs of a Wanna Be: Intro and Chapter 1

1 Vote

A very original idea and

Posted on Thu, 07 Jul 2016

A very original idea and elevated by the wealth of period detail. Brilliant!

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Posted in Flowers (Part Two of Two) (IP)

1 Vote

Hi Deerman, welcome to

Posted on Mon, 04 Jul 2016

Hi Deerman, welcome to ABCTales from me too! Just re-title this as part one, and then post the remaining text as part two. Hope that helps!

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Posted in The Spectator, chapters 1-3

1 Vote

Very nicely done. Fantasy is

Posted on Mon, 27 Jun 2016

Very nicely done. Fantasy is not my thing but you kept my attention. A good balance of description and action.

A couple of suggestions for you:

Feeling the warmth of his hands she smiled and opened her eyes and looked into his. Her...

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Posted in Goodbye

1 Vote

so strange and touching how a

Posted on Sat, 04 Jun 2016

so strange and touching how a few words can take on such a special significance. Perhaps it's because of the care she's showing for you in saying them? 

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Posted in Drive carefully

1 Vote

This is a wonderful poem

Posted on Mon, 30 May 2016

This is a wonderful poem Lavadis. I've removed the photo pending your reply to my email

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Posted in Cannibal

1 Vote

There's a lot to cut when you

Posted on Sat, 21 May 2016

There's a lot to cut when you do your next draft - too much waffle, but the voice is very well done - very believable, and this is a brilliant line! Do keep going..

'He is a Smiths playlist away from rock bottom'

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Posted in Tara (snippet 2)

1 Vote

Part of something bigger? I'd

Posted on Sat, 14 May 2016

Part of something bigger? I'd love to read more of this..

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Posted in Untitled

1 Vote

Beautifully done. The

Posted on Thu, 12 May 2016

Beautifully done. The repetition works really well. One to read aloud

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Posted in Delicate

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