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It is difficult to read,
Posted on Wed, 20 Apr 2016
It is difficult to read, particularly on a screen. The words themselves provide the cumulative effect you seem to be aiming for, powerfully building to the denoument. I don't think you need this particular formatting.
Read full commentPosted in WW1 ghosts
You have not put this piece
Posted on Tue, 19 Apr 2016
You have not put this piece as fiction so I am assuming it is at least partly personal experience. It must have been very difficult to write. You've captured the heightened emotion of such an occasion, the artificiality and sometimes surreal...
Read full commentPosted in A Fathers Secret
I'm not a fan of the Family,
Posted on Mon, 18 Apr 2016
I'm not a fan of the Family, but I felt for her son, posing for 'that' picture. Choosing between the symbolism of doing it and the symbolism of not. Whatever the perks, I wouldn't fancy life as a signifier.
Read full commentPosted in A Life in Tabloid Pictures
Interesting idea with lots of
Posted on Sun, 17 Apr 2016
Interesting idea with lots of detail - is ths part of something longer or are you thinking of expanding it? Lazlo sounds like a character with lots of potential for development before his sad demise. Or was it his demise? I think there were...
Read full commentPosted in A Trip to Edinburgh
Particularly liked the
Posted on Wed, 13 Apr 2016
Particularly liked the portrayal of the relationship between George and Mary - very moving. I find the way you are introducing the characters very interesting - they appear, with their own stories, as needed by the plot. You haven't followed...
Read full commentPosted in Switchback. Ch9
I like the way the poem's
Posted on Wed, 13 Apr 2016
I like the way the poem's structure emphasises the ambivalence, the simultaneous need for and fear of dependence. The poem also makes you wonder about the dynamics of the relationship, and what the 'other half' thinks about it. A good read.
Read full commentPosted in Some False Sense Of Security
Perfumes are so evocative.
Posted on Tue, 12 Apr 2016
Perfumes are so evocative. For me Carven's Ma Griffe, if I ever catch a whiff of it, has a very similar effect. Beautiful writing.
Read full commentPosted in 'Evening in Paris' (Poetry Monthly)
Absolutely love the take on
Posted on Mon, 11 Apr 2016
Absolutely love the take on the IP, and the concept of the 'it' girl. It's the simple things that often bring most satisfaction
Read full commentPosted in The 'It' Girl
The magic of the not quite
Posted on Thu, 07 Apr 2016
The magic of the not quite everyday. 'Listened to the last rays of the sun' - a wonderful image, and welcoming time as a warm cloak speaks of peace hard won. A beautiful piece, Tina.
Read full commentPosted in Not Quite Fern Hill (Poetry Monthly)
No, sorry, you have to finish
Posted on Tue, 05 Apr 2016
No, sorry, you have to finish it. Soon as possible. Please.
Read full commentPosted in Crisp
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