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Very well paced, packed full
Posted on Sun, 21 Aug 2016
Very well paced, packed full of information but not overloading the reader. Particularly like the way the dialogue develops and gives insight into the characters.
Read full commentPosted in The Crimson Wake iv plans are made.
This is great - the sense of
Posted on Fri, 19 Aug 2016
This is great - the sense of unease is beautifully maintained, with Weasley giving the reader shudders and our concern for Kit growing all the time. Excellent cliffhanger ending. Please do keep posting more of this, it's so good.
Read full commentPosted in The Crimson Wake ii the awkward meetings
Nice start to this. I like
Posted on Thu, 18 Aug 2016
Nice start to this. I like the characters and the questions raised by the arrival of the 'cursed' ship. The set up really holds together.
Read full commentPosted in The Crimson Wake i arrival
This brilliant poem is our
Posted on Sat, 30 Jul 2016
This brilliant poem is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day! Please share/retweet!
Picture credit http://tinyurl.com/jdgso9u
Read full commentPosted in District Line ( London competition)
Not remotely a bit rubbish,
Posted on Mon, 01 Aug 2016
Not remotely a bit rubbish, but it does feel as though the ideas come tumbling out, and much better that way than the other. In the end we all write for ourselves, or we should, because otherwise it isn't our true voice. You have it harder than...
Read full commentPosted in The Cobbe house ii the Flunky club
Hello! Welcome to ABC Tales.
Posted on Mon, 01 Aug 2016
Hello! Welcome to ABC Tales. I very much liked the rhythm of this, and the contrast between the sound that seemed to be soothing and then became so frightening. It felt like part of something longer - have you got any plans to expand it? ...
Read full commentPosted in 1. The Fear Looming
Lots of strange and
Posted on Tue, 26 Jul 2016
Lots of strange and fantastical things here, with a fluidity between dreams and reality. I was wondering if it might help with the pacing if you used the dialogue to push the story forward - eg if, in the conversation between the narrator and...
Read full commentPosted in The Spectator, chapters 6 and 7
Hello! I enjoyed this very
Posted on Mon, 25 Jul 2016
Hello! I enjoyed this very much. Beautifully constructed, and some lovely strong phrases like 'the yoghurty morning light'. A mysterious and unsettling atmosphere with underlying humour. A rewarding read.
Read full commentPosted in Witnesses
Very perceptive, Luigi - an
Posted on Mon, 25 Jul 2016
Very perceptive, Luigi - an acronym to sum up someone who lived by the soundbite and image manipulation. I never really took to him personally but I both voted for him and, later on, marched in protest against him. The early years of his...
Read full commentPosted in Undercurrent
I don't know what you're
Posted on Sat, 16 Jul 2016
I don't know what you're worrying about, Ewan. Thousands will march, sweeping all opposition aside, in their quest. Pikachu will save the world. #WTF
Read full commentPosted in More Trouble Every Day
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