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1111 of my comments have received 1215 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

Oh dear.  I predict a riot.

Posted on Mon, 13 Jun 2016

Oh dear.  I predict a riot.

Just one typo - when Chantelle comes to join our two heroes, Josiah briefly turns into Joshua. 

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Posted in Bring Out Your Dead - Part 19

1 Vote

I don't really agree with

Posted on Mon, 06 Jun 2016

I don't really agree with Phineas on this.  I thought the acceptance of the existence of vampires was an interesting take on a well-known theme, a bit akin to the way Alien Nation or the recent Aliens TV series postulated a world where aliens...

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Posted in Sangreville

1 Vote

Explosive ending - oh no, not

Posted on Wed, 08 Jun 2016

Explosive ending - oh no, not Marc!  You capture the grubbiness and seediness of power play, and the sadness of the individual lives destroyed on all sides.  This has been a really gripping and enjoyable story.

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Posted in EBOLOWA 44

1 Vote

I really enjoyed this.  It's

Posted on Sun, 08 May 2016

I really enjoyed this.  It's a cliche to say 'we've all been there', and maybe not exactly in that way, but the emotions are so recognisable, and the remedies, with personal variations, are pretty universal.  The bit about social media made me...

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Posted in Tara

1 Vote

The strands all coming

Posted on Mon, 28 Mar 2016

The strands all coming together and it is still well controlled - the reader feels confident that you have command of the plot! (Not always the case with thrillers).  Marc has a real depth of character - I like the way you present the loving...

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Posted in EBOLOWA 34

1 Vote

The opening paragraphs of

Posted on Thu, 08 Oct 2015

The opening paragraphs of this chapter are absolutely splendid writing.  For me, Marc is the most vivid of all the characters.  The bit about the hip being a pestle and mortar is particularly striking.

Also another development in this...

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Posted in EBOLOWA 22

1 Vote

Hi

Posted on Wed, 12 Aug 2015

Hi

I'm rattling through this - enjoying very much.  The details you have put in to evoke the period are very effective.  I was very struck in a previous chapter how you caught the murk and grime of seventies Britain, and the feel you have...

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Posted in EBOLOWA 15

1 Vote

One of the things I really

Posted on Wed, 27 Apr 2016

One of the things I really like about this story is the way you anchor it with precise detail and description - lots of day to day stuff that gives the people and the place solidity and believability,  so important when your plot centres on the...

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Posted in Switchback. Ch14 pt2

1 Vote

It is difficult to read,

Posted on Wed, 20 Apr 2016

It is difficult to read, particularly on a screen.  The words themselves provide the cumulative effect you seem to be aiming for, powerfully building to the denoument.  I don't think you need this particular formatting. 

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Posted in WW1 ghosts

1 Vote

 You have not put this piece

Posted on Tue, 19 Apr 2016

 You have not put this piece as fiction so I am assuming it is at least partly personal experience.  It must have been very difficult to write.   You've captured the heightened emotion of such an occasion, the artificiality and sometimes surreal...

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Posted in A Fathers Secret

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