128 of my comments have received 129 Great Feedback votes
I like this too, but had to
Posted on Fri, 15 Jun 2018
I like this too, but had to read it a few times to realise what you were saying. Found myself putting in line breaks? I do like the idea behind it and all the descriptions very much?
Feel you are gathering lots of whisps of thought with...Read full comment
Posted in The minutes and the hours
My partner believes dogs to
Posted on Wed, 06 Jun 2018
My partner believes dogs to be spirit guides. Duko seems to be guiding the narrator to a more peaceful place, helping him to accept a horrible truth rather than put life on hold while hoping for the impossible. I like that the two people who have...Read full comment
Posted in Duka's Return
I love the sense of movement
Posted on Fri, 08 Jun 2018
I love the sense of movement you have achieved with the rhymes and matching vowels:
"dazzling their speedy swooping/sweeping in and scooping"
And the quickness of "dart, smart, dirt, martin"
And I like the human bit in the...Read full comment
Posted in Treasured Mud Oasis
This is beautiful! So fluid,
Posted on Wed, 30 May 2018
This is beautiful! So fluid, the way the song pulses and the heart pumps to keep the wings moving quickly. Also, couldn't think how you make it clear that the last line is about coming back to earth, and wonder if it is the D's, which have a...Read full comment
Posted in May Sky Melody
yes, I liked that the cows
Posted on Wed, 23 May 2018
yes, I liked that the cows and children died had significance for different reasons, so much heartache put so simply
and that "Winters smelled of kerosene". I remember there were lots of powercuts growing up, so paraffin reminds me of cold...Read full comment
Posted in Histories of a small town in Ontario
NEVER feel guilty! If I
Posted on Fri, 04 May 2018
NEVER feel guilty! If I could only write like this I would, every day. No other issue is as important, for if we destroy the Earth there will be nothing anyway.
Lions, giaffes, elephants. These are all at serious risk. No cgi is ever...Read full comment
Posted in Palm oil or Orangutans?
I love this.
Posted on Fri, 27 Apr 2018
I love this.
Going at different speeds but arriving together
A dead end coming to life - brilliant!
"look back at the increasingly staggering view". Gives a strong image of space/time so easily.
"Convenient" table...Read full comment
Posted in Effort & View