Questions about God. Trying to understand God.


How being human fits in with God's all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-good self.


Dear God

my heart overflows with guilt having been stoned before, its sails lacking direction. i have become as man pieces, not knowing what it means to be whole, Lord needle my wounds you who

A Prayer

Lord you have answered my prayers: Samuel, my child, has been healed by your hands... miracles are the handiwork of your fingers. Few things have I done for you O Lord,

After the Matrix

In my mind there are pure empty constructs of divine perversion where screams personify absences terrify molds of lust, the gritty gridlocked grief of interior mechanics,

Cleanse my soul

rid it of all its excesses... just give me what i need and no more, this animal self, transform into the soul of an angel, turn my hunger into a love of justice,

Dear God

Remember a few good things I've done... I've had faith in you in my worst moments, loved your vision of the world much more than I know, wanted justice passionately

Dearest God

most dear God, have pity on us the world has become overwhelming it is hard for us to bear. this blizzard of rain, this storm of information, lashes of debates, help me O Lord

unsaid things and the mistakes that we make

where do they go? dotheyrun&hide seek some fear, some hidden desire to attach themselves to? do they disappear into the mind of God, do they simply dissolve? allthethingsyoumeanttosay

Praying, trying to understand

i try hard, work hard trying testing myself, trying to go beyond the narrow limits of my education, trying to find a better way of doing things, trying to understand

Trying to understand

trying to understand you God without judging you tying things together, trying again&again to understand you. am i just here for your glory? what about my problems,

Lonely Jesus

Sometimes I feel ashamed of "I am that I am" within me. After all, I can make a human body wilt, the wind can carry away the dust. I pray to my father when I cannot listen to one more word

Into the Silence

into the mouth of silence (her voice is rich with pain, rich with hesitation, made deep with years of longing, wishing to be real) into the lips of knowing one cannot deal with all things

Land of the Spirits

Spirits, you are devine, you come from the dead the suffering and the unknown and bestow your grace on us through the masks of God, your touch is pleasant as the sound of laughter,

Lord, help me

i am fragile, vulnerable a slave to my feelings which drag me on and on to inaction just chewing the ends of an event, a thing that endlessly bothers me.

Why is he trying to kill me?

this king whom i served so well does he not see all i did i did for him? he is much taller than i am, his stature something to be spoken for and even worshipped,


he is much more refined than my husband who spends his days and nights with his men, inspiring them with gritty words while the rain drips liquid applause all around, sound of leaves falling

Into the Wilderness

I was thrown, out of slavery, so He said, liberated in a sense, no longer in fear and awe of Egypt whose secrets I so longed to absorb. It's true, I lived in fear

My God, my God

Help me, Lord, poor child that I am. I have relied on alcohol to comfort me, to drown my dissatisfaction, my disappointment with the world, with myself. Help me to rely on you, My Lord,

Forgive me Lord

for nights of debauchery in spring fever i was o'ertaken by lust wanting nothing more than the momentary fix screaming out my soul in the electronic night,

They're like Communists, these religious leaders

they have to make it known that they are there and everyone's the same same same, no difference. They raise a stink over the Other whomever that may be, they hate the Other

Lord, do not hate me cause

i'm a hypocrite, i was so envious of wealthy white people, i dolized them, they were so beautiful and so in the center, i wanted so much to be a part of their group

Purify, Simplify me Lord

purify me Lord, let me desire you only don't let me lose track, purify me Lord make me whole. let me not lose sight of you, let me love you through and through, let me

Stone, unreal

For a while, it hurt like hell every night I lay with tears to accompany me, slowly driving then I awoke one day to discover I was not human, my parents were sheep, I was a sheep.

Where is my spirit and soul

where is my spirit, my soul, my body has lost its voice into the wilderness wilderness i go, wandering where is my soul? it has disappeared as of late, no stirring do i feel, no lapping

Looking for God

I am lost in loneliness. At times, I feel that no one really understands me. The truth is, I don't understand myself. I listen, listen to my silence and try to find God there.

Searching for God

God, are you there? or have you disappeared or been broken apart by postmodern hands? I search for you in my pains, in my suffering, trying to find you where it hurts, where


where are you, Lord? where is your home? is it in the heavens or the earth? each day we live, looking towards you, asking you, trying to love you with our hearts and our souls?

Conversations with God 1

I used to converse with God all the time. Especially in the morning while driving to work. In the silence, one thinks that one hears the voice of God...

Conversations with God 2

Let me step back in time and space and say that the Holocaust was the logical conclusion of Greek, Christian and European civilization. I will...

Conversations with God 3

Again, what does it mean that God is all-powerful. I would think that it means that God is in control of all things. Then what should us humans do?...

On Moslems

Moslems, many of those whom I have met, are very spiritually strong and good people. I've always admired Moslems like Muhammed Ali (whom I have not...

good americans 2

i attend a group fitness class. the people are very helpful, especially women. they encourage me and help me defeat my laziness. i crack silly jokes...


you are nonpareil... pearls do not compare to your eyes, synchronize, make everything seem seamless and continuous. your beauty is stellar a...

chariots of fire ii

i definitely identify with the jewish character more than the others in the movie. his desire to be the best runner, to have the best trainer (even...

anti-semitism ii

the nice jewish boy next door: this role i could never fill. in the movie, "The Graduate," the jewish boy is supposed to date the girl next door,...

An Invitation to a Tea Party

It was a few months ago that I was invited by a friend of mine in a Bible study group to a Tea Party get together. Let's call my friend, Tommy. He's...

Just you wait

just you wait for all the moments to collect you homeless man i am, it's so simple after all all this fighting and war is useless... just you wait...


An incantation to a Goddess.

Dear Lord

Humble me my Lord, humble me, proud as a fortress have I become, proud and arrogant like a fool. Nothing can come into me, nothing can revive me but...

How Wicked Am I

how wicked am i, how I do what I want, how I condescend, lie trying to make myself feel better, eating sweets to erase pain with pleasure, living a...

The NOW Culture

I don't remember how long ago it was. I think it must have been 20 or 30 years ago that a professor from Harvard called the culture of the "blacks"...

The NOW Culture: Hookups

I first read about hookups in the New York Times. A hookup is when two people hookup and have sex without any commitment to a relationship. It's...

A Prayer

i pray for all of those who are suffering, all those who lost their husbands or whose husbands have ditched them and now, they are left with only the...

Yeouido, South Korea iv

there's a paradox about east asian absoluteness which i have never been able to understand. where does it come from? there is no God in east asian...

How do we fix the US economy: 3

With the money that comes into the government through higher taxation, I suggest that we invest in the infrastructure of the society and do...

Prodigal Son 1

Master it's time to wake up. Is it that time already? Yes. I don't think I'll work today. Why won't you work? Everyone must work. My brother does...

Prodigal Son 2

Who are you? Jezebel, the most beautiful woman in Jerusalem. What are you doing all alone? I always thought beautiful women had entourages. I have...

Prodigal Son 3

-We lost -You have to lose first to win later. -Why must we lose? -Because Titus will over estimate his own skills. -You think he will make a mistake...

Help me Lord

help me Lord, I suffer and I hate, niceness bothers me... I secretly admire Donald Trump and although I am a Methodist, I cannot stand Hilary Clinton...

A Psycho IV

The silence in the room hides violence in its skin. There is Claire. She's the CEO of Nirvana Enterprises Inc. She looks so confident, and yet, she's...

The First Days

Ever since my youth, I prayed to God in the morning. The early hours of my day was devoted to him. In his time, I would listen to his silence, Listen...

One Day at a Time

For years I groomed my children To be sensitive Well-behaved, To be like the kind of person I'd love to be. When they graduated, Hidden joys...

To You of True Heart

Let not nature's true hue leave your skin, throw your life into a trash bin. Do not say that life is cruel, nature's true colors to make you through...


I'm James Lee, and I just turned 47. There's my wife Joan and my two lovely kids. They are trying to make me smile. No matter how I try, I can't...

47 Part 2

I head to the bar when I can't understand something. I know it's a horrible habit, but being around a whole bunch of people for whom life has become...

47 Part 3

All my life, I have been doing work for the church and the Lord. I suppose a certain amount of disgust for human beings informs my Love of the Lord...

The First Day

It's just so hard, the first day... you fall back again into a corpse-like depression. You want so much to get out as if you were breaking free of...