celticman
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Shadow
Dan’s birthday. Their bedroom stinks of stale fag smoke, booze and the acrid burn of hash. After giving him his present, and another kind of treat,...
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uncorrected proof two.
Woke up this morning, start the day with a prayer that my van will kick-over. It’s an Escort, underneath the grime, the faded red insignia of the...
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Lodestone
“Woke Up This Morning” All sparse littered landmarks gone. All sparse littered landmarks grown. Trudging among missing standing stones. Trudging...
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sense and insensibility
‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.’ Pride and Prejudice. Could she...
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free rites
You’ve come a long way From nits in your hair Suit yourself Tears of anger and shame When you went hame Mum would say ‘The world’s just that way’ It’...
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had to look up arpicity.
Posted on Sun, 28 Sep 2014
had to look up arpicity. Enjoyed the mixing of astronomy, metrical feet and hands and knees. In other words I enjoyed this poem. Almost there with Ex. You've done a great job. A little more and you'll be there. Where, I'm not sure exactly.
Read full commentPosted in Rosalind
dimly-lit students'. You
Posted on Fri, 26 Sep 2014
dimly-lit students'. You maybe better finding another description that's too much like a light bulb.
.There's no such thing...' ditch the full stop at the begining of this section.
Do what thou wilt is the whole...
Read full commentPosted in Do what thou wilt
yep, I'm with Charles Schultz
Posted on Sun, 21 Sep 2014
yep, I'm with Charles Schultz, although, of course, my family never had a car, because only rich folk did, but hey, it's a sunny day. I liked this.
Read full commentPosted in Don't Ask
yeh, I get it, but someone
Posted on Sat, 13 Sep 2014
yeh, I get it, but someone stole it off me.
It's something the Asian students do TO WORN...think you missed out a few words here.
great story. true to life (and I'm not a great fan of Virginia Woolf either).
Read full commentPosted in I have no sympathy
No one is stopping you. Write
Posted on Wed, 10 Sep 2014
No one is stopping you. Write and be wonderful.
Read full commentPosted in I Hate Being 19!
Nothing is something and this
Posted on Thu, 04 Sep 2014
Nothing is something and this is dazzling.
Read full commentPosted in After Death
Geoff seemed like one of the
Posted on Wed, 20 Aug 2014
Geoff seemed like one of the good guys. Yet he get's done over as a bad guy. Great volte and twist at the end. Great story.
Read full commentPosted in Four doors down
the rain, the clouds, the cry
Posted on Wed, 20 Aug 2014
the rain, the clouds, the cry of the children, a background noise dripping with melancholy. After the darkness there may be light, but the darkness remanis.
Read full commentPosted in After the flood
hard to get [h]old of
Posted on Thu, 14 Aug 2014
hard to get [h]old of
interesting, but needs split up into paragraphs. bit of a blob the way it's set out and likely to stop people from reading more, which would be a pity.
Read full commentPosted in No Man's land
Don't know why your shorten
Posted on Sun, 10 Aug 2014
Don't know why your shorten until to the more colloquial 'til in the last paragraph, a sudden colluquialism that doesn't quite gell.
Verm imaginative. I couldn't get grey man, but blue man, well, that set the tone.
Read full commentPosted in Shredding
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