celticman

uncovering oneself (3)

By celticman on Fri, 16 May 2014

The downstairs bar shut. I bought a bottle of Buckie from the Off Sales. It was more expensive than usual, but I was more flush than usual...

Drama

uncovering oneself (2)

By celticman on Sun, 11 May 2014

I spent so much of my life not fitting in I fitted in best with those that didn’t. The Atlantis lounge and bar was a two-storey building that had...

Drama

uncovering oneself (1)

By celticman on Sat, 10 May 2014

In my head it was Monday. The garden gate didn’t cry, or try and out-rattle me. Mum’s gardening shoes were resting on the bottom step of the decking...

post down the line

By celticman on Sat, 03 May 2014

We grew up, lips leerin’ The whistle went son, the game begins Once round, no-man’s again Barbed wire, no-holds quintain Drilling, dodging, filthy...

Poem

Certificate PG

2 likes

1899 of my comments have received 1960 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

a well dramatised account of

Posted on Sat, 20 Dec 2014

a well dramatised account of something that should never have been.

Posted in 25 Years After

1 Vote

the remarkable thing isn't

Posted on Thu, 11 Dec 2014

the remarkable thing isn't that some men break, it is that some don't, or at least not outwardly, as you have shown here. sea monsters come in many form, many fetishes and I think we are all reduced and reducable to bubbling children scared or...

Posted in Sea Monster (part 2/2)

1 Vote

soaks up everything like a

Posted on Tue, 09 Dec 2014

soaks up everything like a sponge is cliched, Delete the sponge bit or use a butchery metaphor eg HIs brains soaks up things like a cow soaks up bovine spongifom encephalophy, which is more words, which defeats the purpose. Mad or what? I liked...

Posted in When The Boxes Open

1 Vote

Johnny carried [H]hector.

Posted on Sun, 07 Dec 2014

Johnny carried [H]hector. good fast beat to the action, but referring to them as man 2 and man 3 makes it seem more like a screenplay than a story. You could use shorthand like the fat man and the thinner man etc.

Posted in My Friend Johnny (chapter 2)

1 Vote

brilliant. You and I are

Posted on Thu, 04 Dec 2014

brilliant. You and I are earth indeed.

Posted in You and I are Earth

1 Vote

K(C)rays. But don't kill the

Posted on Wed, 03 Dec 2014

K(C)rays. But don't kill the goose that laid the golden egg. Keep writing. Later you can move back and go horizontal, following the leads you've established here, giving a bit more detail. Fleshing them out!

Posted in BERMONDSEY GIRLS - Rose Amelia Wigzell - Part 3 - Brothers in arms

1 Vote

oh, sad twist at the end. I'm

Posted on Fri, 28 Nov 2014

oh, sad twist at the end. I'm not able to judge whether it's the standard iambic pentameter, or whether Melvolio is a play on Malvolio Twelth Night, but your skill is remarkable. I wish you well with this.

Posted in A Star Crossed Story

1 Vote

good story, flows well, ends

Posted on Fri, 28 Nov 2014

good story, flows well, ends well -well for some!