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Bin Day.
There was a woman in the bed beside him. She was naked. She moved closer, and he could feel her warm body touching his. He could feel her breath on...
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The Life Of Jim ( Part 7) Final.
I wake up, no, that’s not true, I regain consciousness and open my eyes. I hear the sound of gunfire and voices. Nothing unusual where I live, so I...
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The Life Of Jim ( Part 6)
I stay at Ronnies till closing time. I’m wasted. The inevitable happened. I was supplied with more drinks than I could consume, which is a first for...
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The Life Of Jim ( Part 5)
I finish my pint and head on down to “The benches”. I want a word with Tommy Roberts, he said Brenda was going home with him. What the fuck happened...
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- 144 reads
The Life Of Jim ( Part 4)
I wake to my usual surroundings and feelings. My little flat is a bit untidy but mostly clean. My throat is dry and my head is sore. This is not a...
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Not at all, but you don't
Posted on Mon, 31 Aug 2015
Not at all, but you don't want repetition. In the second line you have the word "air" twice and only five words apart. The fourth line has "with every" twice, once again only a few words apart. It may seem petty but these are the things that stop...
Read full commentPosted in Chapter 2: Gone (John)
Jess, this isn't just a good
Posted on Wed, 21 May 2025
Jess, this isn't just a good story, it's really good writing. Professional, articulate and descriptive. You use words well, you show and don't tell. It's impressive and like everyone else I need to see where it goes. Keep it coming....
Read full commentPosted in Entry 1 — The Mug
Ive said this many times and
Posted on Mon, 10 Feb 2025
Ive said this many times and i'll probably say this many times again. I dont do Poetry. But when you read something this good, you suddenly like poetry. There's almost something Shakespearean about it ( if thats even a word) but its good. Really...
Read full commentPosted in The Garden, that was my domain
Hi Stephen Fisher a very big
Posted on Wed, 17 Sep 2014
Hi Stephen Fisher a very big warm welcome to the site. I like this, it's a good start to something much longer.
I notice that you say it's unedited, that's good as you do need to go back and sort out some typos and some grammatical errors...
Read full commentPosted in Journey
Oh Bee! What a problem to
Posted on Tue, 22 Apr 2014
Oh Bee! What a problem to have, all these people calling you darling. Now, as you know, I come from somewhere that you know, so there are rules to this thing.
1. I ALWAYS call someone ( female) "Darling." Saves so much time trying to...
Read full commentPosted in Call Me Darling
Sooooooooooooooooo True! Abc
Posted on Mon, 07 Apr 2014
Sooooooooooooooooo True! Abc can take over your life if you're not carefull. I found the site in 2011. Back then I was happily married, had my own business, life was good. Then I started reading and posting on the site. Within days I was hooked....
Read full commentPosted in Complaint
I don't like SMART. It just
Posted on Mon, 28 Jul 2025
I don't like SMART. It just means that something or someone is controlling what we do. Smart technology is not for me. I hate people knowing where I am and what I'm doing, not that I've got anything to hide, just that it doesn't fit in with what...
Read full commentPosted in The Watchers In The Walls
I'm up to date H. I've always
Posted on Mon, 23 Jun 2025
I'm up to date H. I've always liked the idea of parallel lives, but they are hard to write. You've done well with this. Sometimes writing takes us to places where we don't intend to go, but that's okay, the skill is making the most of it and...
Read full commentPosted in Dead Man: 6 (ii)
I always think it's difficult
Posted on Sun, 08 Jun 2025
I always think it's difficult to describe death, as a writer. For me, the words just don't come out right. I know what I want to say but find it hard to put it down on paper. You've got this nailed on. The way you go back and forth from death to...
Read full commentPosted in Dead Man: 4
Avacado on toast? You need
Posted on Wed, 28 May 2025
Avacado on toast? You need help Rich...
Read full commentPosted in Blue Whale On A Bed Of Nails
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