Alice’s life was unbearable. When she put the book down and went upstairs, Mick barely spoke to her. When he did, resentment made her skin crawl. He...
Don’t bore me with predictability, Alice. I’d hate to end this prematurely. But, darling, give me some sport. I need a challenge—otherwise, I see no...
Chapter 13 At home, Alice expected to see Mick in every room. The experience the night before had unsettled her. She was frightened. But mostly, she...
93 of my comments have received 93 Great Feedback votes
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eyes that scream whilehis
Posted on Sat, 25 Jan 2014
eyes that scream whilehis mouth devours... space
This is his huge stabbed throne!
Where screaming Saturnus and the shining stars do live.
This--- he calls his home... I like this, I think it sets the atmosphere for...
Will I fight against that leopard or would I chicken out?”... you've changed tenses here, I'd go with either would would, or will will.
fear s and for sure, not even a leopard!... fears?
The wonders of nature eh? This is an uplifting story about...Read full comment
No! No! No!!! You really, really, really don't need exclamation marks in prose. If you do use them they should only ever be used in extreme circumstances. Unless you are purposefully using a child's voice but then you have to make it clear to the...Read full comment
Aw that's really sweet, lovely ending.
Do you know what the first few stanzas of this reminded me of? escaped baby iguanas. And I've chased my share of them. They are like lightning..
This was lovely and next time I see a balloon floating around...Read full comment
I like this, I especially like the phrase 'weaving trees' I hope oyu idn't mean weaving through the trees, because for me that would spoil the lovely image of somebody weaving a tree.Read full comment
Wow, fantastic. This one really hit a nerve with me.
While in prague this year we saw the same man twice. the first time was in the early hours of the morning and we giggled as he bounced from wall to wall and had terrible problems staying upright...Read full comment
eyes that scream whilehis
Posted on Sat, 25 Jan 2014
eyes that scream whilehis mouth devours... space
This is his huge stabbed throne!
Read full commentWhere screaming Saturnus and the shining stars do live.
This--- he calls his home... I like this, I think it sets the atmosphere for...
Posted in saturnius
Luigi this is gorgeous. This
Posted on Tue, 10 Dec 2013
Luigi this is gorgeous. This isn't words it's a painting.
Read full commentPosted in From Out a Window (I.P.)
And why shouldn't they? A
Posted on Fri, 03 May 2013
And why shouldn't they? A lovely well thought out poem, nicely written.Read full commentPosted in Pigs might...
Will I fight against that
Posted on Tue, 17 Jul 2012
Will I fight against that leopard or would I chicken out?”... you've changed tenses here, I'd go with either would would, or will will. fear s and for sure, not even a leopard!... fears? The wonders of nature eh? This is an uplifting story about...Read full commentPosted in Ordeal or opportunity?
No! No! No!!! You really,
Posted on Wed, 01 Feb 2012
No! No! No!!! You really, really, really don't need exclamation marks in prose. If you do use them they should only ever be used in extreme circumstances. Unless you are purposefully using a child's voice but then you have to make it clear to the...Read full commentPosted in It’s Gonna Be Me, Not You!
Aw that's really sweet,
Posted on Thu, 28 Jun 2012
Aw that's really sweet, lovely ending. Do you know what the first few stanzas of this reminded me of? escaped baby iguanas. And I've chased my share of them. They are like lightning.. This was lovely and next time I see a balloon floating around...Read full commentPosted in The Runaway Heart (Redrafted)
I like this, I especially
Posted on Sun, 20 Jan 2008
I like this, I especially like the phrase 'weaving trees' I hope oyu idn't mean weaving through the trees, because for me that would spoil the lovely image of somebody weaving a tree.Read full commentPosted in Cicada
Wow, fantastic. This one
Posted on Sun, 20 Jan 2008
Wow, fantastic. This one really hit a nerve with me. While in prague this year we saw the same man twice. the first time was in the early hours of the morning and we giggled as he bounced from wall to wall and had terrible problems staying upright...Read full commentPosted in Twisted
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