I am Zola Budd or an aspiring bum. Remember her, when they did get her in spikes you didn’t know if you were watching track and field or a remixed edition of Death Race 2000.
So said the barwoman of the hotel terrace bar. We we looking down on the church, at a green laser light playing on the ground. It was nothing really, like something a kid would have.
Ok. So, I like what happens within the story. Getting up to the window is too long. He needs to land on his arse quicker. So I'd cut some there. The monologue about his woes is too long. The speech back and forth between them is excellent. I'd...
A nice description of what
Posted on Thu, 27 May 2021
A nice description of what the whole exam ordeal feels like
Read full commentPosted in The Exam
Very moving. Great Pick of
Posted on Wed, 14 Apr 2021
Very moving. Great Pick of the Day.
Read full commentPosted in Setting Sons
I hate robins. They are evil
Posted on Thu, 08 Apr 2021
I hate robins. They are evil little dictators. So I enjoyed your poem. Thank you.
Read full commentPosted in Who killed Cock Robin?
Nice ending.
Posted on Fri, 02 Apr 2021
Nice ending.
Read full commentPosted in Marta and the Bug (3-4)
I never knew him and now I
Posted on Thu, 25 Mar 2021
I never knew him and now I miss him.
Read full commentPosted in The Last Time I Saw Fungie (2005)
It feels full of hope! Love
Posted on Tue, 16 Mar 2021
It feels full of hope! Love it.
Read full commentPosted in Vernal Equinox
Ok. So, I like what happens
Posted on Fri, 05 Mar 2021
Ok. So, I like what happens within the story. Getting up to the window is too long. He needs to land on his arse quicker. So I'd cut some there. The monologue about his woes is too long. The speech back and forth between them is excellent. I'd...
Read full commentPosted in Sharks
I love its simplicity, that
Posted on Mon, 01 Mar 2021
I love its simplicity, that of a single moment. But it's so moving.
Read full commentPosted in Hand Washing, Glasgow Central
I loved it. Was there in 1991
Posted on Wed, 03 Mar 2021
I loved it. Was there in 1991. I was a student. And in Milwaukee. As per Flamingo Hotel. It's all true! (Well, not quite.)
Read full commentPosted in New Amsterdam
It's great.
Posted on Sun, 28 Feb 2021
It's great.
One point of style. After a lot of your direct speech, you have, 'sais' and then a present participle...
'McDade sais, tryin tae sound authoritative'
'Scanlon sais, noddin'
'ah sais, scramblin fur...
Read full commentPosted in The Party ay the Year (Part One)
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