drew_gummerson

Primary tabs

TypeTitleAuthorRepliesLast updated
StoryGodot luigi_pagano528 min 42 sec ago
StorySeven Nights At The Flamingo Hotel. (Wednesday morning. FAME!) drew_gummerson22 hours 52 min ago
StoryNansen sean mcnulty24 hours 37 min ago
StoryShrinkage Mark Burrow15 hours 10 min ago
StoryRed II randy-johnson15 hours 16 min ago
StoryA Pack of Camels hudsonmoon915 hours 44 min ago
StoryThe Sleep Olympics Terrence Oblong421 hours 31 min ago
StoryCinéma vérité luigi_pagano51 day 32 min ago
StoryBy Lendal Bridge Parson Thru111 day 14 hours ago
StoryThe Language of Dead Flowers agnosticnun171 day 15 hours ago
StorySeven Nights at the Flamingo Hotel. (Tuesday evening. Entente Cordiale.) drew_gummerson61 day 16 hours ago
StorySeven Nights at the Flamingo Hotel (Wednesday morning. Before you awake. This is what you think about when you think about love.) drew_gummerson01 day 20 hours ago
StoryPowerhousing Ewan153 days 43 min ago
StorySeven Nights at the Flamingo Hotel (Tuesday lunchtime. This Sporting Life.) drew_gummerson43 days 16 hours ago
StoryLost Dog 15-17 Kilb5033 days 17 hours ago
StoryLost Dog 1-3 Kilb5073 days 17 hours ago
StoryThe Bloody Gorgon sean mcnulty63 days 23 hours ago
StoryLost Dog 11-14 Kilb5024 days 20 hours ago
StoryLost Dog 7-10 Kilb5024 days 21 hours ago
StoryNever trust a writer Parson Thru224 days 22 hours ago
StorySeven Nights At The Hotel Flamingo (Tuesday Morning, the Deadeye Dave, Deer and Ballerina Problem) drew_gummerson44 days 22 hours ago
StoryDrop Off celticman35 days 6 hours ago
StorySeven Nights in the Flamingo Hotel drew_gummerson125 days 8 hours ago
StoryAll Architects Are Called Zach (Part 4, words 1,533) Mark Burrow25 days 15 hours ago
StoryLost Dog 4-6 Kilb5045 days 17 hours ago

Pages

My stories

Cherry

Seven Nights At The Flamingo Hotel. (Wednesday morning. FAME!)

It is 515. The digits click. The alarm whines and after a moment the radio kicks in. The day is going to be blustery with some showers. A small child...
Cherry

Seven Nights at the Flamingo Hotel. (Tuesday evening. Entente Cordiale.)

The person in charge of the ballerinas is a tiny old woman. She sees you watching and she comes over and tells you her name which is something...
Cherry

Seven Nights at the Flamingo Hotel (Tuesday lunchtime. This Sporting Life.)

You cannot wait to finish work. You have never had any interest in basketball but you, like many of your kind, have often dreamed of becoming a...
Cherry

Seven Nights At The Hotel Flamingo (Tuesday Morning, the Deadeye Dave, Deer and Ballerina Problem)

It is 515. The digits click. The alarm whines for thirty seconds and the radio kicks in. Today a deer has been found dead in someone’s back garden...
1 likes

Pages

13 of my comments have received 13 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

I love the setting. 

Posted on Tue, 12 Nov 2019

I love the setting. 
 

Just an opinion. 
 

I'd change the structure. So you have verses of 5, 3, 3, 5. The first 2 verses I'd leave. 'a soubrette I had met' can go and the third line, 'a dancer from the Moulin Rouge'....

Read full comment

Posted in Godot

1 Vote

Yes, I like this a lot. But I

Posted on Sat, 09 Nov 2019

Yes, I like this a lot. But I don't know that the words 'grudgingly' and 'innocently' fit. Because then it's an opinion of what you see and not what you see. But that's just my opinion. WCW is an imagist? Right? 

Read full comment

Posted in By Lendal Bridge

1 Vote

Paragraph 3 you start, One

Posted on Fri, 08 Nov 2019

Paragraph 3 you start, One day....  The next section starts, 'On one occasion...'

 

Section 16 starts 'One day...'

Later on you've got, 'One evening after school.'

 

I'd make the time references more specific,...

Read full comment

Posted in Lost Dog 15-17

1 Vote

I like the contrast between

Posted on Thu, 07 Nov 2019

I like the contrast between civilisation and nature, and it's all from the boy's POV so he can describe but doesn't know what's going on. We do. 
 
The last line I don't think you need. You've shown perfectly well it's a nightmare so...

Read full comment

Posted in Lost Dog 11-14

1 Vote

Still enjoying this. There's

Posted on Thu, 07 Nov 2019

Still enjoying this. There's a growing tension to it. 
 

It reminds me somewhat of David Vann's Legend of a Suicide- another father and son story in the wilderness. 

Read full comment

Posted in Lost Dog 7-10

1 Vote

Thanks to Mark Burrow for the

Posted on Thu, 07 Nov 2019

Thanks to Mark Burrow for the sock scene. 
 

IHHHO (in his honest humble opinion) there isn't enough wanking into socks in literature. Together we can address this imbalance.  

Read full comment

Posted in Seven Nights at the Flamingo Hotel. (Tuesday evening. Entente Cordiale.)

1 Vote

Good too. I want to know

Posted on Wed, 06 Nov 2019

Good too. I want to know where it's going. 

Read full comment

Posted in Lost Dog 4-6

1 Vote

I enjoyed this too. 

Posted on Wed, 06 Nov 2019

I enjoyed this too. 
 

I love how it starts straight in on the action and not too much is explained. 

Read full comment

Posted in Lost Dog 1-3

1 Vote

There were some startling

Posted on Sun, 07 Jul 2019

There were some startling images in this one, the figure falling from the tower block, the kids hunting for rats. And the mum was a sad figure. 

Read full comment

Posted in All Architects Are Called Zach (Part 2, words, 1,756)

1 Vote

Oh yes, me too. I love the

Posted on Tue, 05 Nov 2019

Oh yes, me too. I love the unexpected use of flowers. I particularly like, 'She had a lilac core' and the final 2 lines, because the admiration comes across in a completely unsentimental way. Steadfast. 

Read full comment

Posted in The Language of Dead Flowers

Pages