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2574 of my comments have received 2635 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

Hello Tom - there's a real

Posted on Mon, 15 Feb 2016

Hello Tom - there's a real wealth of detail in this piece. For feedback I would suggest that you simplify your language a little. Did you use a thesaurus? Some of the words you've chosen don't have the meaning I think you wanted

Welcome to...

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Posted in The effluvium by the sea.

1 Vote

now I'm enjoying this! I like

Posted on Thu, 11 Feb 2016

now I'm enjoying this! I like the ambiguity of the relationship between the two men - the way it seems to have more depth than in the previous parts. I think there's more balance in this part too, between action and backstory, although I...

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Posted in The Net Caster (Part Three)

1 Vote

hahah - Bee they are

Posted on Mon, 08 Feb 2016

hahah - Bee they are brilliant! I think I've come across photos of them while searching for pictures for your Journey series. I do hope you're going to write the knitter a thank you poem and direct her to ABCTales to read it? (and the rest of...

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Posted in Knitted Knockers

1 Vote

Me too! You might want to

Posted on Mon, 01 Feb 2016

Me too! You might want to remove one of the two consequentlys here:

Consequently, a young gentleman was often judged on the size of his folly. Consequently, any young unmarried gentleman who never displayed his ha-ha to his intended was...

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Posted in A Notorious Historical Dandy

1 Vote

Prologues are definitely not

Posted on Mon, 18 Jan 2016

Prologues are definitely not old hat when they're as good as this one. I'll leave the pork pie and dinner date for someone else but will just highlight the tiny bit of comic genius that made me snigger:

'St Diodatis, patron saint of...

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Posted in Highly Strung

1 Vote

A nice start. I like the slow

Posted on Sun, 17 Jan 2016

A nice start. I like the slow introduction of the typical English beach stuff, and then all the gradual clues that it's far from typical. I'd definitely like to read more and find out what happens!

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Posted in Bullets Over Broadstairs

1 Vote

how about keeping the

Posted on Tue, 12 Jan 2016

how about keeping the kamikaze mention on the TV documentary, then have dead german pilots/bombers in the man's memories. I think the Japanese only operated in the East and against the Us forces. You'd really lose something if you had to do away...

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Posted in As long as sea beats on stone

1 Vote

A well-painted authentic

Posted on Thu, 07 Jan 2016

A well-painted authentic picture albeit a grim one. There are a couple of places where the present tense shouldn't be.

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Posted in The Drop Zone

1 Vote

The fourth and fifth

Posted on Sun, 27 Dec 2015

The fourth and fifth paragraph need some editing (typos etc) and are a little confusing in places. Other than that I really enjoyed this. A really good introduction and a fabulous ending - well done!

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Posted in The Glasses

1 Vote

what a beautiful rhythm this

Posted on Sat, 26 Dec 2015

what a beautiful rhythm this has bee

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Posted in You Send Me

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