celticman
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down
I long for her to be Upstairs tucked in like me But not me Anybody but— – to know I’m doing OK Not mad Just be glad – When you turn off your tv...
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Huts Xish
After work my luck doesn’t change. On my way home I slide on a wet standing stones in the burn, and batter my knee off a submerged rock. I juggle...
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new shoes from the Sally Army
I want I was I am Scratchin in a Sally Army that echoes like a tin can Drinkin the final day Gold star for being clean The obsession standoffish the...
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- 1196 reads
Huts IX
I poke and pick and ease my tongue into a hole where a tooth should be, but that doesn’t stop me smiling when the day shift lets go of me. I take the...
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carpe diem
At a personal level I don’t like funerals much. Life everlasting gets a trifle wearing. Leave it the professionals and all that. I brief the priest...
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the sun brings its own
Posted on Thu, 26 Oct 2017
the sun brings its own medicine and this seems ancient and modern. The phrase, 'for wounded, beyond make mend' is slightly clumsy. I know what you mean, but simpler with 'beyond mend'.
Read full commentPosted in Broken
trays were our sleighs
Posted on Thu, 12 Oct 2017
trays were our sleighs
puss-in-boot style boots [too many boots. reword eg footware.
I'm not sure faces would be little, when you're little. Take out the uncertainties. eg, [perhaps with] a little ethnic design.
two-and-a-...
Read full commentPosted in Yellow Ribbons
the girls ruptured nose [girl
Posted on Sat, 30 Sep 2017
the girls ruptured nose [girl's]
her left leg juddered in a spasm, then with a slow exhale,
the pretty girl died. [formatting error here, but perhaps not in your text]
wonderful scene setting and writing.
Read full commentPosted in The girl with the Maroon lipstick (excerpt from Eagles Hunt Wolves)
stolent moments can be sweet.
Posted on Wed, 20 Sep 2017
stolent moments can be sweet.
Read full commentPosted in The Journey
yep, often wonder how women
Posted on Sat, 16 Sep 2017
yep, often wonder how women walk on those heels. heads in the clouds
Read full commentPosted in Heels
yep, I guess so
Posted on Sat, 16 Sep 2017
yep, I guess so
Read full commentPosted in First Love
I'm not sure why you call it
Posted on Fri, 15 Sep 2017
I'm not sure why you call it document 1. I guess there'll be other documents. This has the makings of a good apocalyptic story (like the Road) but I feel there is too much explaining from the unseen narrator goiong on and the action is a...
Read full commentPosted in Document 1
I'm surprised anybody that
Posted on Sun, 20 Aug 2017
I'm surprised anybody that isn't rich can live in London. Two-thirds of most poor folk's wages go on rent. How is that possible? Existence? Well, I guess your non-English dad and mum saw the reality of Primo Levi's If This is a Man, or indeed...
Read full commentPosted in Outcomes of my Dad's recent Funeral in London
a saw-toothed landscape yet
Posted on Sat, 19 Aug 2017
a saw-toothed landscape yet something slightly scary but a beauty shinies through.
Read full commentPosted in Un Dia en Las Palmas
the seasons lead us and we
Posted on Sat, 12 Aug 2017
the seasons lead us and we follow on drfiting through time.
Read full commentPosted in Seasons
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