celticman
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best days of our lives
Our meetings fraught I’m a fragile thing Flexing home-made wings Balancing on a lid of doubt Bent double with longing Recall our meeting? I come to...
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- 1125 reads
Every Day Free
The Asian taxi driver sat with the engine running, a half-full bottle of Irn Bru wedged upside down in a loop near the door, sloshing from one fare...
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- 2010 reads
bumblebee
The heart script Let me turn away from you While I still can Find a dance Share the past moves Let me murmur in your ear A manifesto of why we are...
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Debbie Harry -shut your mouth.
Blondie Denis Denis. Desire of the head. Desire of the heart. What I wish. What I want. Body hell, testing place. Let’s start. Love -fuck forever...
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godstruck
I mourn the sum of you. The loss of you. The only one I knew. No sweets can make him sweeter. No temper-tantrum tears. No more. Show me the runes. Of...
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Johnny carried [H]hector.
Posted on Sun, 07 Dec 2014
Johnny carried [H]hector. good fast beat to the action, but referring to them as man 2 and man 3 makes it seem more like a screenplay than a story. You could use shorthand like the fat man and the thinner man etc.
Read full commentPosted in My Friend Johnny (chapter 2)
brilliant. You and I are
Posted on Thu, 04 Dec 2014
brilliant. You and I are earth indeed.
Read full commentPosted in You and I are Earth
K(C)rays. But don't kill the
Posted on Wed, 03 Dec 2014
K(C)rays. But don't kill the goose that laid the golden egg. Keep writing. Later you can move back and go horizontal, following the leads you've established here, giving a bit more detail. Fleshing them out!
Read full commentPosted in BERMONDSEY GIRLS - Rose Amelia Wigzell - Part 3 - Brothers in arms
oh, sad twist at the end. I'm
Posted on Fri, 28 Nov 2014
oh, sad twist at the end. I'm not able to judge whether it's the standard iambic pentameter, or whether Melvolio is a play on Malvolio Twelth Night, but your skill is remarkable. I wish you well with this.
Read full commentPosted in A Star Crossed Story
good story, flows well, ends
Posted on Fri, 28 Nov 2014
good story, flows well, ends well -well for some!
Read full commentPosted in Kevin Smiled
well written, I was wondering
Posted on Thu, 27 Nov 2014
well written, I was wondering how she could have an organism when dead (which is a physiological impossibility) then she came 'alive' again in the bathtub. Interesting.
Read full commentPosted in The (Nec)Romancer Part 1
yep. gritty and groan filled
Posted on Thu, 13 Nov 2014
yep. gritty and groan filled and full of dis-ease, but truth often hurts.
Read full commentPosted in not quite AA, but only 12 steps to the bar
cheers scratch, just playing
Posted on Fri, 07 Nov 2014
cheers scratch, just playing with words. Thanks Shannan, I wish I knew what it meant too. Often (more often than I'd like to admit) I've not got a clue whant a poem is and more often than that what it all means. I'm pretty good at deciphering...
Read full commentPosted in raring
fall in love ju[s]t by its
Posted on Fri, 31 Oct 2014
fall in love ju[s]t by its words' I often wonder what poety is (and is not).
Read full commentPosted in A Poets Mystery Lane
Home from school for the
Posted on Tue, 28 Oct 2014
Home from school for the Summer, I had been enjoying a leisurely reintroduction to home, taking my dog Barney out for walks [Back from school > that way you don't use home twice in the same sentence]
from los parentes [should this be...
Read full commentPosted in A Wake for Barney
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