Tales of Larry and Mick

All of the 'Tales of Larry and Mick' will be found here!

Award Winning Sausages

"Meaty!" said Mick.

Banana Bandana Bonanza!

"Look at all the bananas!" said Larry. "And the bandanas!" said Mick. "It's a banana bandana bonanza!" said Larry and Mick in unison. [ fin ]

Ding-a-Ling

"Morris dancing?" said Mick. "That rings a bell." "Oh," said Larry; "har-de har." "No, seriously," said Mick. "Eh?" said Larry. "Never mind," said...

Elderly Discourse

"Mrs Tanner had a fall," said Larry. "Oh dear," said Mick. "How old is she now?" "Twenty-three," said Larry. "These things come to us all." "What...

Facial

1. "He's got a beard," said Larry. Pizza. Stuffed crust. "Spicy chicken?" 2. "He's got a beard," said Mick. He was on an IT help desk. Have you tried...
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Flap

They were driving along and suddenly there was a big bird in the middle of the road. "Watch out for that hazard!" said Larry. "It's not a hazard, it'...

Full Cream

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do"...
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Larry & Mick Borrow a Time Machine and Take a Trip to the Old Wild West

'Raiders of the Lost Car Park by Robert Rankin, Falling Sideways by Tom Holt and a time machine.' 'Uhuh.' 'That will be £1.50 for a week's loan of the time machine.' 'What if I return it last Friday?' 'Erm...' 'Only joking! There you go' - Mick handed the librarian three shiny fifty pence pieces, gathered his stuff and left. Ooh, Larry will be so excited, thought Mick, as he trundled off down the road. Imagine the fun we can have with a time machine!
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Larry & Mick Build a Rocket to the Moon

'Do you remember when we built a rocket to the moon, friend Mick?' 'Ahh, those heady days of youth...' 'How old were we then?' 'We were fourteen, friend Larry.' 'Fourteen years of age and misunderstood.' 'Even I didn't understand us.' 'Well you always were a bit slow...'

Larry & Mick Compliment Each Other on Their Hairstyles

'That's a mighty fine haircut you've got there, Larry.'

Larry & Mick Discover a New Planet

'What's that?' 'A new planet.' 'Are you sure?'

Larry & Mick Discover New Taxonomic Categories in Order to Pass the Time Between Cups of Tea

'When did we last have a cup of tea?' said Larry. 'It must be at least twenty-three minutes ago,' said Mick. 'Perhaps even twenty-four,' said Larry. 'That is a distinct likelihood,' said Mick. 'Shall we search for new taxonomic categories?' suggested Larry. 'You mean to pass the time until our next cup of tea?' clarified Mick. 'Indeed so,' said Larry. 'What an excellent idea!' said Mick. 'Okay you start¦'
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Larry & Mick Enter Bulgarian Airspace

'Hey Larry, guess what!' 'What?' 'I've just found that rocket we built all those years ago!' '"We?' 'I helped with the colour scheme.' 'Hmm.' 'Well anyway, curious thing... I was just in Dr. Cherrybalti's earlier, getting my toenails clipped...' 'Dr. Cherrybalti, the veterinary surgeon?' 'Yes.' 'Carry on.'

Larry & Mick Find Inner Peace

ditto re '...Nightclubbing...' & '...Poetry to Cats...'

Larry & Mick Get Caught Stalking Tony Robinson

Larry & Mick were amateur archaeologists. This will be news to some, but not to others. It will be news to those who have not read previous Larry & Mick stories pertaining to the fact. If you are one of these people, then shame on you! Either way... Larry & Mick liked to watch Time Team . But not for its archaeological content. 'Pah!' they would say. 'How can you dig up a 3000 year old fencepost and claim it represents a cornerstone of civilization?' 'Nice pun there, friend Larry.' 'Thank you, friend Mick.' So no, they did not watch Time Team for its archaeological content.

Larry & Mick Go On an Archaeological Rampage - pt1: 'Doorstep'

'Ready?' said Larry. 'Ready!' said Mick. 'Let's go!' And with a Yee-Haa! and a Whoop-Di-Doo! , they hopped on their scooters and headed for the first area of archaeological interest, as indicated on the map they had drawn, entitled 'Areas of Archaeological Interest.' Larry was Indiana Jones. Mick was Lara Croft. Larry was looking forward to using his whip on all who stood between him and the Lost Treasures of the Ancient World. Mick was looking forward to getting off the scooter, as its seat was causing his thighs to chaff a bit.

Larry & Mick Knit Bobble Hats for Camels

'For camels?' said Mick. 'Yes, camels,' said Larry. 'But we don't get camels in Worcestershire,' said Mick.

Larry & Mick Make a Profound Discovery

'See here!' said Larry, as he held his archaeological brush aloft. 'What?' said Mick. 'What do you see?' 'A brush.' 'No, not the brush. Here' - he indicated an upturned rock. 'An upturned rock.' 'But what do you see beneath the rock?' 'Nothing.' 'What do you mean, "nothing?' 'The rock is in the way.'

Larry & Mick Meet Lairy & Mark and Get Terribly Confused

'This is confusing,' said Larry. 'It certainly is,' said Mick.

Larry and Mick Adjust Their Ties

I know what you're thinking... How can you have an entire story based on two men adjusting their ties? Well read on, Doubting Thomasses!

Larry and Mick and the Anachronistic Locomotive

"That can't be right," said Larry. "What?" said Mick. "The 17:01 gets in first, followed by the 16:53." "Maybe it travels back in time." "I've never...
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Larry and Mick and the Big Thing

"What is it?" said Larry. "I dunno," said Mick, "but it's Big." "Metaphorically Big or literally Big?" "Take a look for yourself..."

Larry and Mick and the Cuppa-Contraption

I thought I would share with y'all my entry for the 'PG Tips Invent a Cuppa-Contraption' competition. The Larry and Mick fans amongst you may notice that (a) it shares an uncanny similarity with another L&M story; and (b) Mick's surname has changed from Mastadon to Merrington (I thought it more PG Tips-friendly)... But they don't know that!!

Larry and Mick and the Disregarded Safety Announcement

1. "We are now approaching Kidderminster. Please mind the gap between the platform and the train." "Pardon?" said Mick. "It wasn't me," said Larry; "...
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Larry and Mick and the Disregarded Safety Announcement TAKE TWO

"Do you mind the gap?" said Larry. "No, I don't mind the gap," said Mick. And that was that. [ fin ]

Larry and Mick and the End Times

"The Apocalypse is upon us..." said Larry, as ash rained from the sky.

Larry and Mick and the Fluffy Cat Face-Off

Fluffy Cat 1 stared at Fluffy Cat 2. Fluffy Cat 1 was on one side of the road, Fluffy Cat 2 was on the other side. They stared, not face on, but in a cool, casual, sidelong way.

Larry and Mick and the Palace of Pain

"Ow!" said Larry, as he tripped over a paving slab just outside the main gate.

Larry and Mick and the Punctuative Interlude

"Commas are the stuff of legend!" said Larry.

Larry and Mick and the Quantum Hoover of HEPA

... Inspired by an episode of 'Wizards of Waverly Place' and a conversation with the artist Dan Ashton-Booth about the prospect of a DIY 'Star Wars'...
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Larry and Mick and the Quantum Hoover of HEPA - TAKE TWO

"Gaaagh!" said Larry. "It's sucking up everything in its path!" "But wait!" said Mick. "Who's that hooded chap that's just materialised before us?" "...
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Larry and Mick and the Sneeze of Time

"Ahh-" said Larry. "-gadoo?" said Mick. "Ahh-" said Larry. "-bracadabra?" offered Mick. "Ahh-" said Larry. "-berystwyth?" posited Mick. "-choo!" said Larry. "Oh," said Mick.

Larry and Mick and the Tempting of the Fate

"The house won't clean itself," said Larry to Mick.

Larry and Mick and the Tempting of the Fete

"Don't tempt fete!" said Larry to Mick.
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Larry and Mick are Abducted by Aliens

'Larry?' said Larry. 'I'm Mick,' said Mick. 'You're Larry.' 'Sorry, I mean... Mick?' said Larry. 'But why would you confused me with you?' said Mick. 'It doesn't make sense.' 'Yes it does,' said Larry. 'No it doesn't,' said Mick. 'It's an easy mistake to make,' said Larry. 'No it isn't,' said Mick. 'Yes it is,' said Larry. 'Unless...' said Mick. 'Unless what?' said Larry. 'Unless you aren't who you say you are,' said Mick.

Larry and Mick at the Supermarket

"I am the Empress of Pain," said the lady behind the checkout at Morrison's. Larry handed her a bag of peas. "£1.69," said the Empress of Pain. "Scandalous!" said Mick.

Larry and Mick Avoid a Potato-Related Incident

"Don't ever put your eggs in a plastic bag... and swing it round your head!" said Larry.

Larry and Mick Become Addicted to Carpets

'Have you grown?' said Larry to Mick. 'Why do you ask?' said Mick to Larry. 'Your head seems closer to the ceiling,' said Larry.

Larry and Mick Become Architectural Archaeologists in Antarctica

"Keep digging!" said Larry. "Keep your hair on," said Mick. They dug beneath the snow and revealed an interesting structural formation. "What is it?" said Larry.

Larry and Mick Become Dark Knights and Save Gotham City From a Reign of Terror

"Dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner, dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-" said Larry. "Batman?" said Mick.

Larry and Mick Become Newsreaders for the Day

'This way to the studio,' said the Best Boy or Grip or Gaffer or whatever-he-was. ' 'Ang on, I just need to adjust my hat,' said Larry.

Larry and Mick Build an Ark in Preparation for the Impending Global Deluge

'Where did you get this information from, Mick?' ' www.impendingglobaldeluge.com ' 'And where did they get their information from?' 'Some students, I think.' 'Oh well, it must be true, then. Pass me that 2-be-1.' Mick did so, and Larry nailed it to a 6-be-3.

Larry and Mick Buy a Plank (of Wood)

'That's a very fine plank of wood, friend Larry.'

Larry and Mick Buy a Racing Pigeon

It was the last thing they expected to find in a stationer's. They had only gone in for a pencil sharpener, a small bag of elastic bands and a paper shredder, and they had come out with a racing pigeon. 'We've forgotten the pencil sharpener, the small bag of elastic bands and the paper shredder,' said Mick. 'Damn!' said Larry. 'But then we do have a racing pigeon,' said Mick.

Larry and Mick Buy Too Many Onions

'How many onions?' said Larry.

Larry and Mick Decide to Become High Class Hookers But Get the Wrong End of the Stick...

'For once in your life,' said Larry to the small goblin-like creature who stood on his doorstep, 'bugger off and do something useful.' The small goblin-like creature shuffled off, muttering something incoherent and probably unpleasant. Larry then closed the door, tutted, turned back into the room and said, 'Honestly, what is the world coming to?'

Larry and Mick Decide to Defect...

'I'm bored,' said Larry, as he sat before a large, free-standing mirror on the dining room table, plucking out the hairs between his eyebrows with a pair of tweezers he had found behind his right ear, when he had been searching for a pencil he was sure he had left there, only to realise that it no longer existed, due to the fact that he had sharpened it away to nothing, along with two-hundred-and-thirty-six other pencils, at the National Pencil Sharpening Tournament held at the N.E.C. in Birmingham last Wednesday, at which he had won third prize of a nice, shiny badge and a year's supply of pencils, which, in a pique of altruism, he had donated to the charity, Catteries in Need of Pencils, only to later regret it when he realised he had nothing to write with. 'Shall we defect?'

Larry and Mick Decide to Have a Race Across the Desert Wearing Only Ballet Pumps With a Blue Satin Inlay...

'I've got an idea!' said Larry. 'Hang on, let me just finish this level of Devil May Cry 3: Danté's Awakening,' said Mick. 'Is that the stylish-but-violent gothic horror PS2 game which I got you for your birthday, involving a young half-human/half-demon fighting legions of the undead in a desperate bid to come to terms with his destiny?' 'No, that's Pac-Man,' said Mick. 'Damn, I always get those two mixed up.'

Larry and Mick Decide to Join the French Foreign Legion, But Lose Their Way And End Up In Brighton

'I'm bored,' said Larry. 'Let's give it all up and go and join the French Foreign Legion.' 'Righty-ho,' said Mick. 'Which way is it to France?' 'That-a-way!' And off they went.

Larry and Mick Declare Their Allegiance to the Cult of the Purple Tambourine in Front of a Live TV Audience

They sat, on the only two chairs on the stage, squinting at the bright studio lights, wondering what, in the name of Jumping Jemima's Jamboree, they were doing there.

Larry and Mick Discover Parkour

"Over that wall!" said Larry. "Under that rail!" said Mick. "Dash over there!" said Larry. "Shimmy up that drainpipe!" said Mick. "Across the rooftop!" said Larry.

Larry and Mick Discover the Delights of Sainsburys 3-Bean Soup

Soup comes in many forms, but you can't beat those of a thick and chunky texture...

Larry and Mick Discover the In-ter-net

LARRY: So what is this 'In-ter-net' then? MICK: Well apparently, friend Larry, you can use a 'Search Engine' to find information about anything you...

Larry and Mick do a Spot of Gardening

'I recently went through a phase of being bored of weeing; then I thought, "it's gotta be done, so why not enjoy it?' 'Pass me the spade, Mick.' 'Which made me think about bodily functions in general. I mean, we spend half our lives performing them-' 'Trowel.' 'And that's another thing, by the way... why do we "perform bodily functions? I mean, is it an act of theatre? Do we imagine we are on stage while we're emptying our-' 'Free packet of seeds we got with The Daily Mail.'

Larry and Mick do Yoga to Nine Inch Nails

'And... bre-e-eath...' said Mick, as Trent Reznor went on about God and Hate and nothing-can-stop-me-now and such gubbins. Larry breathed, twisted round his leg and stuck his foot behind his head, but he was less than convinced about the context of his Cosmic Awakening.

Larry and Mick Donate all Their Furniture to Charity

It may have occurred to the casual reader of the Tales of Larry & Mick that there is some lack of clarity over the living arrangements of the protagonists. Do they each own their own 'space' (to be very 2005), but spend most of their time at each other's abodes? Or do they share in the ownership of a flat or a house, in an entirely non-sexual, platonic kind of a way? (Larry & Mick are not gay. Or are they...? This is one of the questions which will be vociferously debated amongst students of Larry & Mick for many years to come - as well as the lack of clarity regarding their living arrangements...)

Larry and Mick Eat Some Cheese

'Edam or Red Leicester?' said Larry.

Larry and Mick Embark on a Journey Into the Unknown

"Where are we going?" said Larry. "Dunno," said Mick. [ fin ]

Larry and Mick Engage in a Bout of Public Silliness

Larry watched, as Mick picked up a leaf, put it on his head and sang the U2 song, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For . 'Hmm,' said Larry. 'What?' said Mick. 'Well...' said Larry. 'Out with it,' said Mick. Larry pursed his lips. Mick raised an eyebrow. 'It's just not that silly,' said Larry.

Larry and Mick Engage in a Philosophical Debate With a Group of Ring-Tailed Lemurs at the Side of the Road

'We're all going on a,' said Larry. 'Summer holiday,' said Mick. 'No more working for a,' said Larry. 'Week or - stop! ' Larry and Mick screeched to a halt. That is to say, their mopeds screeched to a halt. 'What?' said Larry. 'There's those ring-tailed lemurs I was talking about,' said Mick.

Larry and Mick Enter a Elastic Band Flicking Competition

The tension was palpable. The contestants stood waiting in line to be called up to the rostrum. Elastic bands were stretched. Prayers were whispered. Dedications to Pagan deities were recited. 'Fancy a yoghurt-coated raisin?' said Larry. 'Don't mind if I do,' said Mick. Larry and Mick munched on yoghurt-coated raisins. 'What is this place we've entered?' said Larry. 'Let me just get the flyer,' said Mick. Larry had another yoghurt-coated raisin. 'Don't eat all those yoghurt-coated raisins,' said Mick. 'Sorry,' said Larry, as he offered Mick another.
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Larry and Mick Enter a Jumping Competition

'What are you doing?' said Larry. 'Practising for the Jumping Competition,' said Mick. 'By raising and lowering your eyebrows?' 'You can't run before you can walk.' 'Fair enough.'

Larry and Mick Escape From a High Security State Correctional Facility

They didn't know what they had done. But they had somehow ended up in a high security state correctional facility. Somewhere in America. 'This is most unfortunate,' said Larry.

Larry and Mick Experiment With Transexualism

'Phase One,' said Mick, reading from a pamphlet he had picked up from the Post Office; 'realise you are a woman in a man's body.' 'Okay,' said Larry, 'erm,' he continued, 'how do I do that then?' 'Doesn't say,' said Mick. 'I imagine it's a state-of-mind kind of jobbie.' 'Like realising you were born to be a gerbil?' 'Yes, that kind of thing.'

Larry and Mick Find Themselves in a Town Overrun by Hordes of Slavering Zombies

'Where's Milla Jovovich when you need her?' said Larry. 'Pardon?' said Mick. 'Never mind,' said Larry. 'Pass me that shotgun.' Mick did so, and Larry subtly nudged a nearby zombie over that fine line between with-a-head and without-a-head .

Larry and Mick Get Caught Up in a Food Fight Between Pigeons

'Gas pipes and gaffer tape!' said Mick. 'What?' said Larry. 'Those pigeons are having a food fight!'

Larry and Mick Get Waxed

Larry passed Mick a chicken drumstick, which Mick took, got out his penknife, sliced off a slice, dipped it in the gluepot and stuck it onto the canvas before him. He then stood back and twizzled the small, pointy goatee beard he had been cultivating. 'It's good,' said Larry, over the sound of the welding torch, which he was taking to the large block of cheese; 'but it needs more chicken.'

Larry and Mick go all Gangsta, Innit

"Fo'shizzle," said Larry. "What does that mean?" said Mick. Larry shrugged. [ fin ]

Larry and Mick Go Nightclubbing

'That's not a good look,' said Larry. 'I've got a bit of pea-skin between my teeth,' said Mick. 'It won't attract the ladies.' 'Hence my intended removal of such prior to departure.'

Larry and Mick Go Organic

'Was that you, Mick?' 'I'm afraid it was the sprouts, Larry.' 'Is the organic food not suiting you, Mick?' 'In a sense it suits me greatly, Mick. The taste is exquisite and my relationship with Mother Earth has become one of increased mutual beneficence. There are, however, undeniable unpleasant biological consequences.'

Larry and Mick Go Skiing

Larry didn't like the heat. Mick didn't like the cold.

Larry and Mick go to Drama Class

'I am,' said Mick, 'a tree.' 'No you're not,' said Larry.

Larry and Mick Have a 'Night Out'

"There's a Psychic Night tonight at the pub," said Larry. "How do you know?" said Mick. Larry went cross-eyed. "Oh," said Mick. "I see."

Larry and Mick Have a Mid-Life Crisis

Larry and Mick were in their early thirties. One day, Larry turned to Mick and said: 'Shall we have a mid-life crisis?' 'Why the Shrek not?' said Mick. And so they did.

Larry and Mick Have a Run-in With the Sponge Police

'Quick!' said Larry. 'Hide the sponge!' 'Why?' said Mick. 'It's the Sponge Police!' said Larry. 'Madeley and Finnegan!' said Mick, as he shoved the sponge under the cushion on the sofa, whilst Larry answered the door.

Larry and Mick Have Tea With Gloria Estefan

'Who is it we're having tea with, again?' said Mick. 'Gloria Estefan,' said Larry. 'You mean the Cuban eighties pop sensation?' said Mick. 'If you like,' said Larry.
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Larry and Mick Justify Their Existence to a Hospital Porter, Whilst Queuing for Tickets to the Novelty Pen-Top Exhibition

'I'm looking forward to the superhero stall,' said Larry. 'It's the Psychological Abnormalities one that I'll be making a beeline for,' said Mick.

Larry and Mick Lose Three Years of Their Lives to Playstation

'How old are you, friend Mick?' 'Thirty-three, friend Larry.'

Larry and Mick Moan About Stuff

'And another thing,' said Mick; 'that new pasty shop claims it's a genuine Cornish pasty shop, and yet I've never heard anyone say "Bugger! or "There was hellup! or "Alright, my lover?' 'Or "Here, have some free fudge!' said Larry. 'Exactly!' said Mick.

Larry and Mick Paint Pebbles and Sell Them to Tourists

'What do you think of that?' said Mick. 'It's rubbish,' said Larry.
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Larry and Mick Re-Discover the Pickled Egg

'Are those eyeballs in the jar?' 'No, pickled eggs.' 'Shame. I do so like an eyeball with my battered jumbo sausage and chips.' 'Have a pickled egg,' suggested Mick. 'Begging you pardon?' said Larry. 'Live a little! Walk on the wild side! Push those boundaries to the limit! Have a-' 'Are you egging me on?'

Larry and Mick Reassess the Situation

'What are you doing there, friend Mick?' 'It is a spider diagram, friend Larry.' 'And what is the purpose of the spider diagram, friend Mick?' 'I feel it is time we reassessed the situation.'

Larry and Mick Recite Poetry to Cats

Ditto re '...Nightclubbing...'

Larry and Mick Save Their Saliva for a Rainy Day

Has it really been that many months since I wrote a Larry and Mick? The shame! Ahh well, here it is - it's only a quickie, but they can be just as satisfying (apparently)... ;)

Larry and Mick Share an Apple

'Where is the fruit to which you refer?' 'There, on the table.'

Larry and Mick Start a Boy Band

'A boy band?' said Larry. 'Why the heck not?' said Mick. 'We have no talent.'

Larry and Mick Stumble Upon Mega City Justice

"That was a long sleep," said Larry. "Indeed," said Mick. Larry opened the curtains. "Oh crikey!" "What?" "A futuristic city appears to have been built around our flat!"

Larry and Mick Wander Unwittingly Onto an Online Forum

'Larry?' 'Yes, Mick?' 'We seem to have wandered unwittingly onto an online forum.' 'Jangling Jehosephat's Jockstrap, Mick, you're right!'

Larry Bathes in the Light of Mick's Magnificence

"What's this bubble bath called?" said Larry. "'The Light of Mick's Magnificence'," said Mick. "What a startling coincidence!" "Indeed." [ fin ]

Larry Exclaims

"Oh furnanas!" said Larry. "Furry bananas?" said Mick. "No," said Larry.

lry+mk g txtng

lry+mk bt mbl fns.

Medical References (a Larry and Mick Tale)

"I can't stand people who haven't got all their toes," said Larry. "I'm Lack-toes Intolerant."

Mick Isn't Satisfied

"I love these chocolate biscuits!" said Larry. "They could do with chocolate chunks," said Mick. "I've done the hoovering." "You missed a bit." "I'm looking forward to Christmas!"

Pause

"Hello dog!" said Larry at the incoming Labradoodle, whilst smiling and projecting nervous psychic waves in the direction of said canine, intended to...

The Aliens are Here!

"The aliens are here!" said Mick.

The Field

1. "What a lovely field!" said Larry. "Indeed it is!" said Mick. "Have you got the thing?" said Larry. "What thing?" said Mick. "The thing," clarified Larry.

The Glitch

"Ooh cat!"

Topiary

"Your bush needs trimming," said Larry to Mick.
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Larry and Mick and the Niftily Deflected Insult

“You smell,” said Larry. “Hey, watch it!” said Mick. “Sorry,” said Larry.

Larry and Mick and the Nidiot

"You're an idiot," said Larry. "I'm not a Nidiot," said Mick.
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Cthuddlywinks

1. Deep within the bowels of the Earth, something stirred. Something ancient. Something smelly. Something that, until that very moment, had not even...
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Trees

“How do trees work?” said Larry to Mick. “They don’t work,” said Mick to Larry. “Lazy blighters.” Larry looked at Mick. It was then that a tree,...

Paper

Larry had a piece of paper on his head. “Why,” said Mick, “do you have a piece of paper perched atop yon bonce?” “‘‘Tis International Put a Piece of...

Larry and Mick Got a Long List of Ex-Lovers

“Taylor Swift!” said Larry. “Where?” said Mick. “Nowhere,” said Larry; “I was just trying out a new exclamation.” “Oh,” said Mick. < fin >
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Ears

Pt1 “Have you ever cheered so hard, your ear fell off?” said Larry. Mick’s team scored. Mick cheered. Larry looked at Mick. “Nope,” said Mick. Pt2 “...

Larry and Mick Hope for a Cherry on ABC Tales

“Do you think this will get one?” said Larry. “Probably not,” said Mick. < fin >
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Larry and Mick and the Thing that Happened

In real life, things happen without knowing why they happen. And they are unresolved. There is no beginning, middle and end; it’s all just middle...
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Larry and Mick go to Puddletown ... PART ONE

One day, during Larry and Mick’s annual fishing trip to Dorset, they decided to go to Puddletown. Puddletown is a real place, but the Puddletown...
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Larry and Mick go to Puddletown ... PART TWO

Puddletown was a veritable gravity well of celebrities. Such a quaint English name. And what celebrity doesn’t love all things quaint and English? So...
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Larry and Mick go to Puddletown ... PART THREE

Amidst a veritable symphony of oral windypops, there was a swoosh, a roar, a scrape, a thud, a crunch and a great leathery flapping as of great...

Larry and Mick at the Last Chance Saloon

A little homage to one of the best things on TV at the moment...
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Larry and Mick and the Alien

“I’m an alien,” said the alien. “No you’re not,” said Larry. “You’ve just got green skin,” said Mick. “But I’m an alien!” said the alien. “Then prove...
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Larry and Mick Give it Some Oomph

“I can’t turn the tap off,” said Larry. “Give it some oomph,” said Mick. ... “I can’t get the lid off this jar,” said Larry. “Give it some oomph,”...
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Pah

They sat on a cushion. The cushion was small and round and a pale orange hue. It was perched on top of a mountain, which was surrounded by a plane of...
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Larry and Mick and the Aardvarks

“Get you’re coat, you’ve pulled,” said Larry. “Say what?,” said Mick. “You’ve pulled a thread on your cardigan, so you should not wear said vestment...
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The Holy Sock Trilogy

PART 1 “Darn it!,” said Larry. “What?,” said Mick. “This sock which has a hole in it.” “Okay.” Mick darned the Holy Sock. PART 2 “All hail the Holy...

LXM

Larry regarded Mick. Which is something he had never really done before. He had looked at him, stared at him, glanced at him, but never regarded him...

Larry and Mick and the Conscious Artificial Entity

“Hello. I am Jeff.” “O,” said Larry. “K,” said Mick. “And what,” said Larry. “Are you doing here?,” said Mick. “Hello. I am Jeff.” Larry indicated he...

Larry in Love

“I’m in love,” said Larry. “No you’re not,” said Mick. “What do you mean?,” said Larry. “It’s just your brain chemistry misfiring,” said Mick. Larry...

Larry and Sally Go on a Date

[ Being a sequel to ‘ Larry in Love ’... ] “We could show these young ‘uns a thing or two!,” said Sally the Librarian, over the thump-thump-thump of...

Larry and Mick Partake of a Post-Date Analysis

[ Being a sequel to ‘ Larry and Sally Go on a Date ’... ] “How did things go with Sally, Larry?” “I think she thinks I’m weird, Mick.” “Why would you...

Things

“Things are happening,” said Larry. “And nobody can stop them,” said Larry. “Except...” said Larry. “The Stopping Man,” said Larry. “Seriously?,”...

The Sprunging of Spring

“It’s getting’ more nicer, ain’t it?,” said Larry. “Who taught you how to speak?,” said Mick. “Your mom,” said Larry. “You’re not Larry,” said Mick...

Hole

“Well they’re digging a big hole by the station,” said Larry. “Are they going to fill it in again?,” said Mick. “‘Spect so,” said Larry. “Gotta...

Not Roadkill

“Watch out for that roadkill!,” said Larry. “It’s not roadkill, it’s a car mat,” said Mick. “Watch out for that car mat!” “Poor car mat...” “Why?” “...

Misapprehension

“I know what you’re thinking,” said Larry. “No you don’t,” said Mick. [ fin ]

Journey Confusion

“Whoah! We’re going to Ibiza!,” sang Larry. “I thought we were just going to the post office,” said Mick. [ fin ]

Larry and Mick and the Sniffleapocalypse

The end didn’t come in fire or nuclear fallout or holy wrath. It came in sniffles, coughs and ‘feeling a bit squiffy.’ But enough of that... “I’m...

Larry and Mick Dabble (a bit) in Necromancy

“Oops,” said Larry, as he slipped on a half-eaten doughnut, fell off the cliff and dashed his brains on the rocks below. “Oh dear,” said Mick, who...