Larry and Mick Decide to Join the French Foreign Legion, But Lose Their Way And End Up In Brighton

'I'm bored,' said Larry. 'Let's give it all up and go and join the French Foreign Legion.'
'Righty-ho,' said Mick. 'Which way is it to France?'
'That-a-way!'
And off they went.
When they got there, they stopped the car by the side of the road and Larry said, 'Let's go and ask that man with a natty moustache, a striped t-shirt and a string of onions round his neck, which way it is to the offices of the French Foreign Legion.'
'Righty-ho,' said Mick.
'You can't have two righty-ho's in one story,' said Larry.
'Sorry,' said Mick.
They then got out of the car, walked up to the stereotypical Frenchman and Larry said, 'excusez-moi, s'il vous plait?'
'Erm,' said the Frenchman, sounding slightly confused; 'oui?'
'Could... you...' said Larry (speaking very slowly, so that the Frenchman would understand him); '... please... tell... me... the... way... to... the... offices... of... the... French...'
'Français,' interjected Mick.
'Merci, friend Mick... the,' he continued; 'Français... Foreign Legion?'
'Sorry, haven't got a clue, mate,' said the Frenchman (who was probably not a Frenchman).
'You're not a Frenchman!' observed Larry.
'Neither are you!' said the Frenchman (who was definitely not a Frenchman).
'But what's with the striped t-shirt?'
'I'm a Dennis the Menace fan.'
'And the onions?'
'For my hot-dog stand on the pier.'
'And the natty moustache?'
'Don't you think it's stylish?'
'Hang on... Pier, you say?... You mean we're not in France?'
'Nah, mate, you're in Brighton.'
At which point Mick rejoined the conversation with a resounding, 'Ampules and ampersands!'
'Ahh well,' said Larry; 'shall we go and hit those penny arcades?'
'Why the heck not?' said Mick.
Larry and Mick decided not to join the French Foreign Legion after all.