Larry and Mick Donate all Their Furniture to Charity

It may have occurred to the casual reader of the Tales of Larry & Mick that there is some lack of clarity over the living arrangements of the protagonists. Do they each own their own 'space' (to be very 2005), but spend most of their time at each other's abodes? Or do they share in the ownership of a flat or a house, in an entirely non-sexual, platonic kind of a way? (Larry & Mick are not gay. Or are they...? This is one of the questions which will be vociferously debated amongst students of Larry & Mick for many years to come - as well as the lack of clarity regarding their living arrangements...) Are they squatters in an old abandoned church? Do they live in a secret military bunker? Are they entirely fictional characters who only live within the consciousness of their creator, thus rendering the question of their actual, physical living situation utterly irrelevant? Probably. And with that in mind...
'Do we really need that chair?' said Larry.
'You mean the last one left in the house?' said Mick.
Larry perused the room they were in, exited such, ventured upstairs, checked the bedroom, examined the second bedroom (slash office), glanced at the bathroom, trundled back downstairs, cast an eye over the dining area, popped his head into the kitchen, then returned to the room from which he had originated (that being the one know as the 'lounge') and said to Mick...
'Yes, that'll be the one.'
'No,' said Mick, in response to Larry's original question; 'not really.'
'May I therefore suggest,' suggested Larry, 'a donation to the local branch of "Wigwams In Need Of Rugs?'
'You may,' said Mick. 'To which my response would be twofold... A. Since when has a charitable organisation existed by the name of "Wigwams In Need Of Rugs?...and B. Why, in the name of all that is damp and mulchy, are we donating all our furniture to charity?'
'Well you may ask, friend Mick. To which I shall reciprocate a further response to the tune of... A. Since the twelfth of December in the Year of Our Lord, 2004... and B. Furniture is but a subconscious extension of the manifest desire within all sentient beings to transcend the eternal dichotomy between the "seated and the "un-seated.'
'I think that's MFI's latest slogan,' said Mick.
'No it isn't,' said Larry.
At which point there was a knock at the door.
It was a man collecting for Wigwams In Need Of Rugs.
'What an amazing coincidence!' said Mick.
'Not really,' said Larry. 'I called them before you arrived.'
'You mean before I responded in the positive to your query re donating the last chair in the house?'
'You must remember, friend Mick,' said Larry, 'that although you spend most of your time within these rooms, you do not actually live here.'
'But-'
'And consequently that chair' - he pointed - 'and every other item of furniture hitherto herein, belongs - or I should say, belonged - not to your good self, but to me.' 'But I-'
'And henceforth, although I asked your opinion re the donating of the last chair in the house, out of politeness and, in the manner of a good friend, wanting you to "feel included, the decision pertaining to such rests, in actual fact, firmly upon the shoulders and indeed within the conscience of me, myself and - by way of completion of the epithet - I.' 'But I thought-'
'You thought what?'
'I forgot what I was going to say.'
'Anything for Wigwams In Need Of Rugs?' said the man from Wigwams In Need Of Rugs, who had been waiting very patiently with his clipboard.
Larry handed him the chair.
'Most kind,' said the man from Wigwams In Need Of Rugs. 'See you at the next meeting, Brother Larry.'
Larry and the man from Wigwams In Need Of Rugs exchanged a curious handshake, then the man from Wigwams In Need Of Rugs departed (chair'n'all).
'What was that all about?' said Mick.
'What was what all about?' said Larry.
'You and the man from Wigwams In Need Of Rugs,' said Mick.
'Dib dib,' said Larry - which, in Mick's opinion, fell somewhat short of an adequate explanation.

EPILOGUE:

'Where are you staying tonight, friend Mick?'
'But I thought-'
'I have a nice floor you can kip on.'
'You are true friend, friend Larry.'
'Get a good night's rest, then we'll go furniture shopping in the morning.'
Mick hardly slept that night, due to the excitement of it all. And because the floor was quite hard.

[ FIN ]