The Undertakers

Stories featuring the characters of Josiah Oakshott and Archibald Thurble



Gold cherry

A Dubious Undertaking

An awkward conversation between and undertaker and his hapless assistant

Last Rights - Part 1

The undertakers are back and Archibald has an encounter with the constabulary

Last Rights - Part 2

The undertakers again - in which Archibald explains his predicament

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 1

This, along with the subsequent episodes, may (or may not) become a longer work about my characters, Josiah Oakshott and Archibald Thurble, otherwise known as The Undertakers.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 2

In which Josiah and Archibald take to the skies, hopefully!

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 3

In which an ill-advised remark might cause some consternation.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 4

Featuring a discussion about a cross-dressing criminal and an unexpected reunion.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 5

Archibald and Josiah find themselves in Paris, and they're not alone!

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 6

In which a pause in the journey causes our passengers to take stock

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 7

In which a journey is resumed and plans are made for the day, even though not everyone's happy

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 8

In which there is a degree of disappointment, and sulking, all round.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 9

In which arrival in Alicante does not bring peace and harmony

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 10

In which hope springs from the unlikeliest quarters and an inappropriate colour scheme is adopted.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 11

In which that which should be there, is not, to the consternation of all concerned.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 12

In which romance flares briefly, but is quickly snuffed out, in more ways than one.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 13

In which plans are laid, but not to everyone's satisfaction.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 14

In which the dawning of a new day brings mixed results for our intepid travellers.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 15 (Revised)

In which our undertakers are driven to distraction

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 16

In which a number of parties set out for a road trip, with varying degrees of success.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 17

In which Josiah and Archibald finally meet their client. Possibly.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 18

In which Lawrence falters, Chantelle tries to judge between the quick and the dead, and Josiah learns something to his disadvantage.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 19

In which something doesn't quite fit and a solution presents itself.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 20

In which people are lost, and found, and questions are raised.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 21

In which suspicions are raised and observations made.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 22

In which some people leave, and have a story to tell, whilst others arrive with their story untold

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 23

In which misunderstanding reigns supreme and frustrations are keenly felt.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 24

In which remains are not allowed to remain and suspicions are followed.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 25

In which the tired are rejuvenated and seeing is not hearing

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 26

In which Lawrence is hopeful, and Amber is surprised.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 27

In which Lawrence is amused, and Amber is not.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 28 (revised)

In which our weary travellers gain some respite, discuss ducks and steel and feel queasy about jam.

For Those In Peril On The Sea

Some of the following story was told to me as a true account over the weekend. As soon as I heard it, I thought that this was a natural story for my two hapless undertakers. Hope you enjoy it!

I See A Friday And I Want To Paint It Black!

There's a certain strain of advertising that I seem to see quite a lot of, at the moment, and it irritates me immensely. I thought that Josiah and Archibald might have some views on it, too!

It's All In The Game - Part 1

Josiah is preparing for the Company Christmas Party whilst Archibald has a musical question...

It's All In The Game - Part 2

In which Josiah seeks modernisation and Archibald bursts into rhyme!

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 29 (revised)

It's not exactly a snappy title, is it? I've been stuck on this story for months and months but I think I've finally seen a route through! Apologies to anyone who has been following the series as you've probably forgotten the plot by now (and I wouldn't blame you). Any road (as Archibald would say) normal service will now be resumed... So this is Part 29, with some revisions, in which there are comings and goings, zombies and villains and, possibly, puddings!

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 30

In which Lawrence gets an unexpected prod and D.I. Wood finds himself incommunicado.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 31

In which Chantelle shocks Josiah and Josiah mourns lost love.

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 32

In which Frankie wrestles with a philosophical conundrum and Lawrence, Amber and Frankie have their journey unexpectedly truncated, in more ways than one!

Bring Out Your Dead - Part 33

In which Archibald wakes from his rest, and Frankie doesn't!

"Will ye no come back again...?"

This story was conceived the other day, when I drove through my old home town of Burton upon Trent and noticed that this had actually happened at a well-known funeral director's. I couldn't believe my eyes and I wondered what Archibald and Josiah might have to say about it...

An Ill Wind

Given everything that is going on at the moment, it was sort of inevitable that my undertakers would become involved at some point!

From a distance...

I know this is a tricky subject about which to be even vaguely humorous but I felt that my Undertakers couldn't fail to comment during the current unpleasantness. Hope you'll bear with me. Keep safe, everyone!

Lest we forget...what was it?

I suppose even undertakers celebrated V.E. Day, so I thought we might check in on Josiah and Archibald.

Bursting the Bubble

It's a busy time at Oakshott and Underwood, for all of the wrong reasons (although, to be honest, there are very few right ones!) and Josiah Oakshott is 'burning the midnight oil'...

The Song Has Gone, But The Memory Lingers On!

Archibald is researching and reminiscing, Josiah is not too sure he wants him to do either!

We Shall Not Pass This Way Again

Josiah and Archibald are having to share a car, along with some insights!

Take Off That Gloomy Mask of Tragedy!

In which Archibald finds adhering to the government's strictures dangerous, and exhausting

Some Are Born Great...

Josiah and Archibald consider leadership qualities.

Grave Expectations - Part 1

In which Josiah has an unpleasant task to perform and Archibald finds himself in trouble!

Grave Expectations - Part 2

In which Archibald faces ruin and Josiah has an epiphany

Never Say Die!

Josiah and Archibald discuss a burning desire


Josiah and Archibald reflect on the law of unintended consequences.

Through A Glass, Darkly

Archibald discovers it's difficult to find his way in life and Josiah considers their future.

Measure for Measure?

In which Archibald discovers that size does matter and Josiah tries to explain the facts of life.

All's Well That Ends, Well...?

In which Josiah's plans come to fruition and Archibald's come crashing down!

Lamenting the lock-up

Josiah and Archibald consider the possibility of further Covid restrictions, with mixed results.

Testing Times

In which Josiah prepares for the worst and Archibald tests his patience.