Bring Out Your Dead - Part 28 (revised)

Continued from Part 27

The yellow van pulled off the main road and into a makeshift car park situated next to a reasonably modern café.  The bumps and hollows of the track down caused Archibald and Chantelle to wake from their respective slumbers, much to the quiet enjoyment of Josiah for whom the last four hours navigating mostly empty roads had been punctuated by the snores and whistles emanating from his companions.

"Are we there yet?" Archibald asked, in time-honoured fashion.

"I fear we are not, Archibald.  I have diverted from our journey briefly in order to purchase some refreshment and to visit the usual offices"

Chantelle reluctantly parted company with Archibald's shoulder and rubbed her eyes.

"How long have we been travelling now, Mr. O.?" She yawned.

"Just under four hours, Miss Lace.  We are not a million miles away from Toledo"

"I've heard of that" Archibald said, enthusiastically, "can't think why though?"

"At one time, it was the capital of Spain, although I doubt that is why it figures in your consciousness, Archibald.  It is, however, famous for it's steel."

"Got a lot of ducks, have they?" Archibald mused.

Chantelle looked at Josiah quizzically, who shrugged and parked the van.

"Archibald, would you be kind enough to see what the café may have to offer in terms of drink and foodstuffs?  I will join you shortly but need to take advantage of their sanitary conveniences.  Can we get something for you, Miss Lace?"

"I'll mooch in with Archie here and see what's cooking, straight after I've popped in to the little girl's room too"

The three travellers crunched across the expanse of gravel toward the café area, each in their own little world.  Chantelle, because she had just woken up from a deep and quite contented sleep.  Archibald because that was his natural state and Josiah because he was deep in thought.  Suddenly  he stopped, slapped his forehead and said,

"Teal!" causing  both Archibald and Chantelle to jump, "You thought I said that Toledo's famous for it's teal!"

"Ducks, yeah" Archibald confirmed.

"I was referring to Toledo steel.  A very hard steel famed for its use in sword-making in ancient times.  Not ducks!"

"Oh, right.  Pity.  I'm partial to them pancake things you roll with duck and plum sauce, thought they might have them here, if they're into ducks and that"

"They're not, to the best of my knowledge" Josiah responded.

"You go and see what's on the menu, Archie, while Mr. O. and I powder our noses" Chantelle giggled.

"Powder your…" Archibald began

"It is an expression, Archibald.  Just an expression" Josiah said firmly.

In the privacy of the dimly lit toilets and washroom area, Josiah took a long, hard look at his reflection in the mirror above the washbasin.  The image looking back at him was not the sort to gladden the heart.  The past few days had clearly taken their toll.  He was sure that he hadn't had quite so many lines littering his face when they had first started out.  As a man in his late 50's, Josiah had cultivated the look of a sober, professional businessman, as befitted his chosen career.  The best that could be said of him was that he was unremarkable, which, he thought, was something to be appreciated in an undertaker.  Grey hair, neatly cut, a rather serious demeanour, all sitting above a sober, dark suit styled on traditional lines, that was what looked back at him and, for the first time in a good many years, he found it unsatisfactory.  He wanted to look…dashing, yes that was the word.  Instead, he looked pebble-dashed.  If he was honest with himself, he knew the reason for this dissatisfaction.  It was called Chantelle and it was currently sprucing itself up in the next door washroom.

A few minutes later, Josiah and Chantelle emerged from their respective locations looking somewhat relieved and enlivened.  Chantelle had clearly taken the opportunity to refresh her make-up, spray a little perfume about and, as a consequence, looked ravishing.  Whereas Josiah felt that the best that could be said about him, was that he looked marginally more human than he had before.

"Everything ok for you, Mr. O.?" Chantelle enquired.

"Perfectly adequate, Miss Lace, thank you."

"You know, I was just thinking, you must let me take a turn at the wheel next.  You've been driving for nearly four hours now, you must be exhausted?"

"I must admit to a certain degree of fatigue, Miss Lace.  I am unfamiliar with the roads and I find the almost complete absence of traffic somewhat unnerving.  You may say what you wish about our roads in the U.K., but they are seldom boring!"

"Then my turn it is.  I'm used to driving over here"

They turned in to the main café area, which was mostly deserted apart from a couple of, presumably, lorry drivers nursing coffee and the local newspaper at separate tables.   In the centre of the room, Archibald stood gazing blankly at an illuminated menu displayed over the serving counter, tugging distractedly at his sleeve from time to time.

"What recommendations do you have for us then, Archibald?" Josiah asked brightly.

"Looks like variations on a theme of toasted sandwiches and hamburgers" Chantelle observed.

"Oh, is it?  I couldn't make head or tail of it to be honest" Archibald answered, "but, I'm not sure I'm going to bother"

"Why ever not, Archibald.  Are you feeling unwell?" Josiah enquired.

"No, it's just that I don't think it's for me, Mr. O." Archibald responded with a faint look of disgust on his face, "I mean, take that one there.  I can't read Spanish, but I reckon it says it's got jam on and it makes you queasy!    Well, I can do without that, thank you very much."

"Jamon y queso." Chantelle read, "It's a toasted sandwich with ham and cheese.  Nothing to do with jam and feeling queasy, Archie!"

"Oh?  Well, if it's like that, I'll perhaps give it a bash"

"Shall I order while you two grab a table?  Is it coffee all round?" Chantelle offered.

"Your help would be much appreciated, Miss Lace.  I think a strong black coffee could be just what the doctor ordered" Josiah headed gratefully for a seat by the window.

"Are you sure that's right, Mr. O.?" Archibald had his usual puzzled expression to the fore, "Only my mum said the doctor told her to avoid 'strong coffee and other stimulants' if she wanted a restful night's sleep"

"The best thing your mother could avoid is the doctor" Josiah muttered, then more loudly, "I am not seeking a restful night's sleep, Archibald.  Despite Miss Lace's kind offer to drive for a while, I wish to remain alert for the duration of our journey."

"Really?  I'm planning on getting my head down again."

"You do surprise me" Josiah stared out at the blackness surrounding the café, alleviated at that moment by the headlights of a car as it swept past on the Autopista.