ice rivers
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I have 534 stories published in
21 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 143769 times
and 94 of my stories have been cherry picked.
8 of my 399 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 9 votes
jerry ryan
simply irresistible
Posted on Thu, 21 Sep 2017
a few clean up notes
get rid of a couple "littles"
clarify this sentence" The look, in her mind’s eye, that right now made her want to her jump right back on one and go home"
seek alternatives to the word "seem" ( appear,...
Read full commentPosted in Wrinkles
The empty seat
Posted on Fri, 17 May 2019
My father filled that seat and left it to me.
Thank you
Read full commentPosted in On An Imminent Death
The problem comes in when I'm
Posted on Sat, 28 Jul 2018
The problem comes in when I'm writing a novella. If the scenes don't attract attention in the beginning, they become far less "compelling" to new readers as the work continues. As of now, only 11 peple at the most, are up to date on what I'm...
Read full commentPosted in Short Cherry Rant
kayfabe
Posted on Sat, 10 Mar 2018
Kayfabe is a carnival term for never letting a non- carny in on the secrets of the carny. Wrestling has a long association with carnivals.
Bad guys are always bad guys in kayfabe and they hate good guys in kayfabe which is like pretending...
Read full commentPosted in Donald Trump in the beginning
i'm beginning to agree
Posted on Mon, 18 Dec 2017
in some ways i've resisted this mine because it seems too easy. Ya know the ageless bugaboo of thinking that it can't be any good unless it's a creative struggle. I should be old enough at this stage to realize this and appreciate the gold mine...
Read full commentPosted in Ralph and Big Dave
I like it
Posted on Thu, 31 Aug 2017
I think I could use some indentations.
My favorite line....."In a way, it’s sort of like I’m feeling the story, connected with the characters beyond sight. Truly in touch with it, if you want.”
want might be will
Good work...
Read full commentPosted in Eyes
very promising
Posted on Sun, 21 Feb 2016
I will continue to read which is the height of compliment, isn't it?
Read full commentPosted in Mistress and Servant Part 1
paragraphing is important
Posted on Sun, 14 Feb 2016
yes it is and your paragraphing style moves the reader briskly through the content. Maybe reconsider the commas in the last sentence. I love it when stories end with a very short parageraph. Bravo
Read full commentPosted in Play, You...Play Me