46 of my comments have received 49 Great Feedback votes
Posted on Thu, 21 Sep 2017
a few clean up notes
get rid of a couple "littles"
clarify this sentence" The look, in her mind’s eye, that right now made her want to her jump right back on one and go home"
seek alternatives to the word "seem" ( appear,...Read full comment
Posted in Wrinkles
Still with ya
Posted on Fri, 30 Sep 2022
love the set up.
Four days quickly passed.
careful not carful
do as you please
And I thnk the first sentence would be better if you used active voice rather than passive voice and got rid of that "importantly" adverb...Read full comment
Posted in The .......Part Two
Posted on Sat, 20 Aug 2022
We call it soccer over here and it's growing in popularity. The sterotype of soccer fans unfortunately is a bunch of rowdy drunks beating the shit out of each other. We are big fans of Ted Lasso over here for whatever that's worth. Fandom is a...Read full comment
Posted in King of Contradiction