4 of my comments have received 5 Great Feedback votes
Posted on Thu, 21 Sep 2017
a few clean up notes
get rid of a couple "littles"
clarify this sentence" The look, in her mind’s eye, that right now made her want to her jump right back on one and go home"
seek alternatives to the word "seem" ( appear,...Read full comment
Posted in Wrinkles
paragraphing is important
Posted on Sun, 14 Feb 2016
yes it is and your paragraphing style moves the reader briskly through the content. Maybe reconsider the commas in the last sentence. I love it when stories end with a very short parageraph. BravoRead full comment
Posted in Play, You...Play Me