5 of my comments have received 5 Great Feedback votes
Posted on Thu, 21 Sep 2017
a few clean up notes
get rid of a couple "littles"
clarify this sentence" The look, in her mind’s eye, that right now made her want to her jump right back on one and go home"
seek alternatives to the word "seem" ( appear,...Read full comment
Posted in Wrinkles
ain't cherries great
Posted on Wed, 16 Mar 2016
the problem is they become addicting. I'm starting to almost reach the point that I want my stories to be cherry winners instead of just stories and we know what kind of art that generates. Don't let the cherries go to your head...take this...Read full comment
Posted in One Night Between
paragraphing is important
Posted on Sun, 14 Feb 2016
yes it is and your paragraphing style moves the reader briskly through the content. Maybe reconsider the commas in the last sentence. I love it when stories end with a very short parageraph. BravoRead full comment
Posted in Play, You...Play Me