ice rivers
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I have 343 stories published in
14 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 46022 times
and 52 of my stories have been cherry picked.
5 of my 207 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 5 votes
jerry ryan
My collections
My stories
This Is Your Writer Speaking
Your writer has been reading about languages that don't include the pronoun "I" and instead use the relationship of the first person to the second...
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- 2 comments
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- 17 reads
Showdown on Main Street
Every so often, I'll find a volume in my library that takes me by surprise. I don't remember acquiring the book so I don't remember the moment that...
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- 2 comments
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- 28 reads
A Review of Mother
I'm a big fan of solipsism. Rarely have I seen a film as solipsistic as Mother starring Jennifer Lawrence among many others. I'm going to try to...
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- 22 reads
wrinkle
wrinkle, wrinkle, little scar earned while flirting at the bar up above my throat so high on the eyelid of my eye i no longer see as clearly whenever...
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- 25 reads
Fatigue
Fatigue is the enemy of both urgency and connectivity. Urgency and connectivity are essential elements of writing. We have an idea, we've got to...
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- 18 reads
simply irresistible
Posted on Thu, 21 Sep 2017
a few clean up notes
get rid of a couple "littles"
clarify this sentence" The look, in her mind’s eye, that right now made her want to her jump right back on one and go home"
seek alternatives to the word "seem" ( appear,...
Read full commentPosted in Wrinkles
I like it
Posted on Thu, 31 Aug 2017
I think I could use some indentations.
My favorite line....."In a way, it’s sort of like I’m feeling the story, connected with the characters beyond sight. Truly in touch with it, if you want.”
want might be will
Good work...
Read full commentPosted in Eyes
ain't cherries great
Posted on Wed, 16 Mar 2016
the problem is they become addicting. I'm starting to almost reach the point that I want my stories to be cherry winners instead of just stories and we know what kind of art that generates. Don't let the cherries go to your head...take this...
Read full commentPosted in One Night Between
very promising
Posted on Sun, 21 Feb 2016
I will continue to read which is the height of compliment, isn't it?
Read full commentPosted in Mistress and Servant Part 1
paragraphing is important
Posted on Sun, 14 Feb 2016
yes it is and your paragraphing style moves the reader briskly through the content. Maybe reconsider the commas in the last sentence. I love it when stories end with a very short parageraph. Bravo
Read full commentPosted in Play, You...Play Me