Shoot The Engineer

 

Triggers and Brothers

Whenever I think of an "asshole", I automatically think of my brother. My brother is as far from being an asshole as anyone that I have ever met. If...
Cherry

Awakening from Stephen King's Nightmare.

I have been institutionalized and remain institutionialized. I have awakened from Stephen King's nightmare after reading 41 of his books. His...

The King of Child Killers

Since our common crime within the institution is indifference, falling into routine is comforting. We "appreciate" the administration of our...

A Matter of Trust

After he killed the kid in Cujo, I lost faith in King. Lost faith is not a deterrent to habit. I kept reading Stephen another 35 times. I remember...

Shifting from First to Third

It's always fun to switch a story from first person to third which also requires a change of tense. Sometimes we got to get out of automatic.
Cherry

Kunio

“A man could be a lover and defender of the wilderness without ever in his lifetime leaving the boundaries of asphalt, powerlines, and right-angled...

Fake Oreos

I just ate a fake Oreo. It was everything an Oreo should be but the stamp on the cookie said Publix. I had a hard time opening the package. I pounded...

Night of Champions

One of the first lessons of Education 101 is this "Don't have favorites." This is one of the first rules that I was determined to break. I decided to...

Hello Haylen

Well Hello Haylen. This is your hippocampus speaking. You've already turned down our hypoglamus. You've jolted our amygdola and you're feeling...
Gold cherry

Bound and Gagged Guy

Unless you are a very secure person, don't come bound and gagged to a straight bar on Halloween night. Of course, you may not have a choice in the...
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Jack Goes Nicholson Over the Aardark in his Wallet

One day for no reason, a bunch of us started comparing what we carried in our wallets. Jack Stafford won the competition that day. For some reason...

Bone Dry

I was playing the ninth hole at the Canandaigua Veteran's Hospital golf course, when my brother Deke approached. I got a bad feeling as Deke got...

A Smart Feller

Maybe it was the fall from the bunk. Maybe it was the radioactive Nevada weather. Maybe it was the fact that Merle, unlike ShelleyandKelly or...

Buying Some Milk

The eighteenth ward was full of grocery stores, what we now would call Mom and Pop shops. It wasn't unusual for the shops to have different prices...
Cherry

Child in the Dark

I was still afraid of the dark when my father took me to my first movie. The scene of the fright was the Dryden Theater in the George Eastman House...

Service Elevator

The service elevator overloaded with nobodys while the somebodys Go up and down without a shafting On the escalator. Everybody is rescued From...

You want to kill a marriage slowly?

You want to kill a marriage slowly? Take your routines and obey them Shake your spontaneitys, delay them Every day religiously to the letter. Settle...

Carolina Blue

I've complained about the weather down South for the past three months. It's been relentlessly hot and humid. They tell me when I come from up North...

Welcome to Essential Media Theater

Everybody's tuning in for the impeachment of Donald Trump. Everybody that is except for Trump himself. Welcome to American media theater once again...
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YO, HOLMES WHAT UP!

Marie Yovonavich is one tough cookie. She's been kneecapped, coldcocked, blindsided and smeared but she keeps right on truckin'. Of course the GOPS...
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Cherry

Everlasting Leather Deviate

It came down to me and Larry Walker in the basement of the dorm with about 10 witnesses. Somebody got the idea of an intra dorm boxing tournament. I...

Loosening Gordian Knots

With each reinvented year The passing of each day Increases in significance if not sound and fury. Some might say That I wasted today Sitting stock...

Crushed by the Hearings

Yesterday, while watching and listening to the impeachment hearings, I found myself distracted by the faces of people sitting behind the big shots...
Cherry

Meeting in the Garden

Finally They Met.... They had met before, these invincible Sons of the South but never in this most famous of gardens and never wearing their gloves...
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Blind Date at Casa Fredo

She showed up on time. She's cute rather than ravishing. She's well dressed instead of flashy. She knew what she wanted to eat. She chose wine over...

I Call Myself Ice

Marion Morrison had a dog Marion named his dog Duke Marion Morrison went to Hollywood Hollywood named Morrison John Wayne Morrison didn't care for...

Teach to the Top

I was driving by a local high school yesterday when I saw this frightening message on the billboard in front of the school: TEACH TO THE TOP. Okkayy...

An Itch As Big As A Banger

George Fern woke up one morning with a terrible itch. George had been losing weight which was good but retaining water which was not so good. George...

December in Carolina

I went for a walk this morning. When I returned to the house Lynn asked me about the weather. I said "the weather is beautiful if we are in Rochester...
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No Lightbulb in the Lamp

We went to see Dr. Sleep in Birkdale yesterday. The "movie" would have been a lot better if it had been offered as a three parter on Netflix.....too...

Sighs and Secrets in the Dark

This is the promised continuation and conclusion of No LIghbulb in the Lamp

Lack of Focus in Theater 5

Focus is a primary asset of Attention Surplus Syndrome (ASS). We ASSes have the ability to intensely focus our attention sensually as well as...
Cherry

Oh Susannah (part one)

When I was a child, I believed everything I heard on radio or teevee. I believed that the United States was fighting against gorillas in Korea. I...
Cherry

Oh Susannah (Part 2)

For awhile, I had aspirations of becoming an Eagle Scout. I had the Boy Scout Manual which described all of the requirements for any merit badge...

Drum Dream

Music was my final merit badge. I decided that my attempt to trail the Eagle was running out of enthusiasm. I quit Boy Scouts the same day that I...

Filler Up With Rosebuds

What would our lives look like if we eliminated the filler? Our lives would look like movies. One of the essential reason we go to the movies is to...

Small Crowd at Tiny Tim's

There's not enough room in this Christmas house For me, my wife and her autonomy. We've got eight bedrooms, four cats and a mouse She holds a degree...
Cherry

Max In The Present, Past and Future

It was Christmas Eve and Max was in the midst of his first thousand steps. Each and every step was still a big deal. All the relatives would call Max...
Gold cherry

Shooting The Engineer

I keep shooting the engineer. He laughs and pulls his bullet ridden body off the linoleum tiles and says, "one more shot". When I paginated my...

Full Filler

The engineer has the indomitability to rise again and ask the most basic and devilish question. "So, what's it about?" This is my answer and I hope...

Fulfilled

We had been overwhelmed. We had cursed our coming creation. Get the goddamned thing over with. We resisted the urge to push. We were Full and ready...
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Bighorn on the Rocks

*/ Forty plus years ago, on a startling, clear August afternoon, I was smack dab in the middle of everywhere, the Grizzly Mountains of Montana. To be...

Mitzi's Slice of Life

Today was gonna be a lucky day for somebody, most likely Fritz. Mitzi slept in and was in no rush so she took her sweet time doing her makeup. She...

The Next Stage

I love it when I visit someone who knows how to play the piano. Eventually, when they feel like it, they'll go over to the keyboard and start to play...

Not A Grouch After All

This is my 600th essay. I didn't want to rush into this number so I took my time and then it arrived........

Our Tuesday Weekends

The worst thing about retirement is the loss of weekends. Some insist that when we retire all we have are weekends but I have learned differently...
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Cherry

Flower Guy

Twenty years ago I persevered through one of my favorite rituals, the annual Valentine’s Day masculinity panic. As of 2:50 PM on that fabled...

Horndog Max

In his ongoing efforts to produce fudged statistics to sell to Cosmopolitan magazine, Jem Masters felt that he had to do at least some research. He...

Playing Checkers with Elton John

One day long ago, when Holcomb still existed and 15 years before Apollo, I was playing checkers with my grandpa on the porch of his small home next...

A Pinch of Salt

*/ Folks do thangs a little different down in the mountains of Southwestern, New York. They like to keep things simple. When Tim and Lois were...
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Ice Bowls Part 1

*/ Yesterday Lynn asked me a very tantalizing question. “Do you feel like going bowling today?” After twenty plus years without it, I had pretty much...

Ice Bowls 2

*/ I almost tripped when I stepped on the bowling lane. Back in the day, we had to step up from the scoring area to reach the lane. Here the lane was...
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