A Pinch of Salt
By ice rivers
- 550 reads
Folks do thangs a little different down in the mountains of Southwestern, New York. They like to keep things simple.
When Tim and Lois were heading for divorce, they reached a typical, simple agreement. They agreed that Lois could have two hours to clear out everything that belonged to her in the cabin that Tim had built for them.
When the prearranged time arrived, Tim pulled his truck off the property to let Lois have her time. As he was pulling away, Tim was surprised by a pack of women headed for the cabin with Lois leading the charge. Seems that Lois had alerted all the gals in her support group to help her out and they were pissed.
For the next two hours, Tim partied with his pal Johnny Abrams. Johnny was famous around those parts for killing a bear that had made its way to Main Street in the next town over. Johnny was arrested but since Johnny was native American and since the area was still under lease to his tribe, Johnny was cleared because he claimed that he was “hunting” and the bear was fair game. Like I said, folks do thangs a little different down there.
So while Tim and John were partaking, Lois and the girls were taking the cabin apart
After exactly two hours, Tim headed back to his cabin. He refastened the chain across the entry to his property and armed with a rifle and a twelve pack, Tim returned home.
From the outside, everything looked as pastoral and peaceful as it always did. When he stepped inside, Tim was expecting a big mess. To his relief, the cabin was still tidy but the neatness was deceiving. Lois and her squad had taken just about everything that wasn’t nailed down and a couple of items that were. They were kind enough to leave Tim a table and a chair. Tim popped open a Bud and sat down on the chair. He looked around and had a much easier time discovering what remained as compared to what was gone.
He took a chug of his Bud and ruefully noticed that the salt shakers were still on the table. He picked up the shaker and gazed at while he drank. After a few seconds of contemplation he realized that the shaker was empty. The girls had left the shaker but had taken all of the salt, not even a pinch remained, same thing with the pepper.
Stunned, Tim walked outside to his porch which over looked the pond. He drank a couple more beers and decided to go back into the house. On his way in he noticed a nail sticking out of the framework. Up until two hours ago, there had been a cow skull on that nail. Even the cow skull was gone.
Even though, they do things different done there, Tim couldn’t tolerate the missing cow skull. The whole matter ended up in court where Tim accused Lois of “stealing” the cow skull.
The cow skull trial is whole other story for another day. When they went to court Tim, with the testimony of the guy who shot the bear ended up with the cow skull which he thought salted the marital wounds of Lois and her girls…..just a little bit….just a pinch.
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Well I'll be damned...
I know where the inspiration came from! "The cow skull trial is whole other story..." and that could be very interesting to read - for another day. Those gals were pretty tenacious, I'm not at all sure what would happen in a re-match.
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