Triggers and Brothers

Whenever I think of an "asshole", I automatically think of my brother.

My brother is as far from being an asshole as anyone that I have ever met. If he has an Ahole trigger, I don't know what it is. My brother is unfailingly agreeable, understanding, good humored, realistic and empathetic.

We rarely argue. When my Ahole trigger is activated, jaded as I am, I give him a call. He always answers or gets right back. He listens and understands my side of the story. I can tell by his level of response how valid is my venting as well as how green-eyed my jade. If his response is more good humored than agreeable, more understanding than supportive I recheck MY attitude and turn my trigger inward before I disarm.

I calm down and find some serenity

I was sitting on my porch this morning, chewing gum after a brisk morning stroll Yeah, I'm a bit of a porch monkey. A man and a woman waved to me as they passed my porch on their morning walk. As I watched them approach, my asshole trigger activated at the sight of the guy's hat. I thought "what kind of a clown wears a hat like THAT on a day like THIS. By the time the guy waved, I had already made up my mind that the guy was an asshole.

His wave was friendly, my return nod was neutral. He didn't care one way or the other. He was walking with his angel. I'm sure that he forgot all about me immediately as he, his girl and his lid lingered in my troubled, judgmental mind. Then I remembered that I had once seen my brother wearing a hat like THAT on a day like THIS.

In a split second I recalibrated my trigger. All of a sudden this guy became my brother. I imagined the healthy, hilarious, low key conversation that my brother would have been having with his angel. I began to like the guy so much that I decided to write a story about him.

I don't need to call my brother.

If the guy walks by again, I'll give him something to remember. I'll warm up my nod and say "hello" while I turn off my trigger and whisper "thanks" as he nods and walks past.

We are strangers. We are friends. We are brothers and sisters.