Henri

I want to write of Linda Gray
Who delves in the Satanic,
The effects of time kept at bay
Through a picture in her attic.
As it ages day by day
Her looks remain the same.
(Should I change the gender and the name
To something more exotic?)

I want to write the erotic tale,
Of a Lady, very well bred,
Who falls in love with a gamekeeper
And takes him to her bed
With every detail so explicit
I'd enjoy researching it.
Trouble is someone said,
It's all been done before.

I want to write some revelations
A 'fly on the wall' objective view.
A novel filled with allegations
Some real and some untrue
I'd change the names of the innocents.
In this sordid tale of drugs and sex.
Based on the female Jet-Set's lives,
I think I'd call it Smethwick Wives.

I want to write any old crap
That gets me on T.V.
I want to sit there like prat
While Wogan interviews me
Then, when I felt the time was right,
I'd set his stupid hair alight
And as he squealed and jumped about,
I'd piss on him to put it out.