David and the Unpleasant Odor

“Hello David, how are you doing this afternoon?” said the Therapist.

“Umm…decent enough.”

“Would you like to start this session, or should I?”

“I will. Lately I’ve been feeling really left out. Nobody ever seems to want to work on projects with me. My whole table in lunch has moved to a different area in the room.”

”If you had to guess, why would you say that this is happening?”

“I don’t have to guess. They told me.”

“What have they said?”

“They told me that I don’t smell very good.”

“Why would you say that you’ve been ‘smelly’ recently?”

“I’ve always been afraid of toothpaste, on account of how it sounds like it could cause my teeth to stick together. I’ve always been afraid to use a brush, on account of my fear of trees. I don’t like combs, because they sound like I’m searching for something, and I just don’t like being in large groups and search parties. I’ve always been afraid of shampoo, on account of how it sounds a little like feces is involved. Conditioner doesn’t really bother me so much; except for I can never figure out exactly how to use it. It has that ‘Questions & Comments’ number, but I’d just feel too stupid for calling…”

“Continue.”

“I keep feeling things moving around on my head. Someone told me that they saw a bug crawling down my face, then drop off and die.”

“Well…can’t you just take your chances on the cleaning products?” The Therapist said fanning under her nose.

”All of my friends have left me. All except for the bugs. They’ve become my friends now.”

“You’ll never gain anyone’s respect if you go around smelling up the room, and leaving dead insect carcasses along your path. Some of my patients have told me that Lithium has eased some of their phobias. Maybe, I could prescribe you some, and you could overcome the fear of being clean.” The Therapist fanned under her nose once again.

“I refuse to separate from my friends...And why do you keep fanning under you nose? What's your problem?

“I’m afraid that I’m going to have to ask you to leave, you’re emitting an unpleasant odor.”

David covered his ears and began to violently shake his head, sending his tiny allies across the room. Within seconds, the room was filled with tiny creepy-crawlies. The therapist ran for the door, but she was quickly overcome.

David sat back and smiled, watching the insects enjoy their feast. He laughed quietly to himself, basking in his odor.